Katchan How the Grinch Tried to Steal Christmas Many contrite apologies to the late Theodor Seuss Geisel (Dr. Seuss), whose earliest works were among my earliest books, and the inspiration for a hyperactive kid with too much time on her hands to put that time to writing out the images in her head, however bizarre they might seem to anyone else. No apologies to those of you who must suffer the experience of those images ::evil laughter:: Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza, Merry Festivus, and equivalent salutation to all other celebrations during the holiday season ^_= Katchan ******* Everyone in his household Liked Christmas a lot... But Vejiita, the Saiyajin Prince, Did NOT! He couldn't stand Christmas! The whole Christmas season! Now please don't ask why -- no one quite knows the reason. It could be that he was a Saiyajin Prince Or that he'd had a bad one and hated it since (But I think that the most likely reason of all May have been going with Bulma to shop at the mall.) But, whatever the reason he dreaded the day, He stood in the living room, while his kids played, Staring up at the tree with a typical frown At the tinsel and lights and the ceramic town. For he knew that tonight his children and mate Would be hanging their stockings before it was late. "They'll stay up all night!" he said with a groan. "They don't need their sleep -- but I need my own!" Then he growled, his Saiyajin tail swinging free. "I have to get out of here -- away from that tree!" For, tomorrow, he knew, both his daughter and son Would wake bright and early. And expect him to come! And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the Noise! Noise! Noise! Noise! He especially hated the dad-blasted NOISE!! Then he would be forced to sit down to a feast -- Which wasn't so bad, he admitted, at least. Even he couldn't really object to a feast. But he'd also be forced to look after his manners And not say a word while the women would yammer. And THEN they'd do something he liked least of all! The women would bolt, leave the men one and all And head into the living room, discussing their wishes And insist that the men then take care of the dishes. But he was a Prince! HE WAS A SAIYAJIN PRINCE!! And the more Veji thought of this whole holiday The more he determined he would get away. "Why, for more than ten years I've put up with it now! I've got to make sure I can get out -- But how?" Then he went for a flight Into the night The Prince Got to thinking as he looked at the lights... "I know just what to do!" he chuckled soft in his throat. "I'll simply kill Santa, the fat lazy goat." And off he flew swiftly, toward the North Pole Planning how to off Santa, which of course was his goal. "All I need is an alibi," he said, "one that's good." "I'll find Kakarotto, he'll lie for some food." But he reached the North Pole and inquired around And discovered that Santa was not to be found. "He's gone giving gifts," a little elf said. Vejiita put one mighty fist through his head. He went searching for Santa, and looked high and low... But came across something else over the snow. A grouchy old Grinch dressed in bright red and white Was stealing away Christmas-y things in the night. "You son of a bitch," the Saiyajin roared. The Grinch didn't hear him, or else he ignored. To Capsule Corp. headquarters, its windows lit bright The Grinch drove his sleigh and he grinned at the sight. "There's someone with lots of nice goodies," he chuckled. "They'll be sad in the morning!" He cackled. He cluckled. Veji stared at the evil old Grinch in his sleigh And he realised what would go on the next day If his kids were completely deprived of their stuff -- Their wailing and crying would be more than enough To drive him quite mad. He'd rather the noise Of the thousands of bright-painted expensive toys! His hair glowing yellow, Vejiita dropped down In front of the sleigh, his features a frown. "You will not ruin Christmas," he snapped at the Grinch. The Grinch only laughed, and he didn't flinch. "An elf," he cried merrily. "Oh, this is good!" "But your ears aren't pointed, you're not wearing a hood!" They were his last words, though he finally grunted As Vejiita drew back his foot and he punted The Grinch and the sleigh into sometime next week. "I'll give you 'elf', you green hairy geek." When Vejiita turned 'round, he saw Bulma was there, Her mouth slightly opened; she continued to stare. "You just saved Christmas, Vejiita," she said. "I thought that you hated it." He lifted his head. "I do," he assured her, his stance firm and proud. "But making my kids cry isn't allowed." She flashed him a smile as she led him inside (She'd as usual managed to push past his pride.) They locked all the doors and they turned out the lights And the Prince found out how to love Christmas that night. [fin] [thank Dende]