Newsgroups: alt.pub.dragons-inn From: andsol@is.rice.edu (Andrew J. Solberg) Subject: [L] Throcken: K-CHING! Take Two Message-ID: <1992Jul9.210146.21497@rice.edu> Date: Thu, 9 Jul 1992 21:01:46 GMT Throcken is more than pleased when he sees SunStorm the Really Tiny Giant enter his store. Oh goody! he thinks, as the terribly adventurerish-looking fellow walks in. For Throcken, canny merchant that he is, knows all too well what it is that accounts for most delver's encumbrance ratings. Hint: it's gold in color, and it rhymes with 'rash'. Say 'succotash', and I'll give Throcken your email address. SunStorm approaches the counter. Throcken greets him: "SO WHAT ARE YOUSE SUPPOSED TO BE? A GNOME? A DWARF? A *MUNCHKIN*?" SunStorm glares mirthlessly. "I'm a giant. I've been shrunk." "OH. WELL, NO SKIN OFF MY BUNIONS, PROVIDIN' YER A CASH CUSTOMER. SO -- WHAT'S YER POISON? NOT DAT WE SELL DAT...." "I need a helm. I've lost mine. I took an arrow in the ear -- see?" "OH, YEAH.....GROSS. YUP, WE GOT HELMS ALL RIGHT. DIS WAY, BOSS.." Throcken reveals a display case filled with helms. Throcken explains: "OKAY, AS YA CAN SEE, WE GOT A FINE SELECTION OF HELMS, COIFS, BASSINETS, VISORS, AND SKULLCAPS. ANY OF DESE MUNDANE HELMETS WILL RUN YA 100 SHEKELS. NUTTIN' SPECIAL TO DESE BABIES. "NOW, I ALSO GOT TWO MAGIC HELMS DAT WOULD FIT YA. FIRST, DIS HERE IS A OSTROGOTH HELM, COMPLETE WITH BULL HORNS. IT'S GOT A SPECIAL ENCHANTMENT ON IT: IF YER WEARING IT, AND YA SAY 'AUROCHS' OUT LOUD, YA TURN INTA A BIG, RED BULL FOR AN HOUR. IT WORKS ONCE A WEEK. I GUESS IT'S GOOD FER IF YA NEED TA TRAMPLE YER WAY OUT OF A FIX OR SOMETHING. "DIS ONE IS A PUZZLER. I PICKED IT UP OFF SOME DINGY KENDER, WHO SAID IT BELONGED TO A DWARF FRIEND OF HIS. DIS CREST, HE SEZ, IS GRIFFON HAIR, BUT I DON'T BUY IT FER A SECOND. ANYWAYS, I CAN'T FIGGER OUT WHAT IT'S SUPPOSED TA DO. IT'S DEFINITELY MAGIC, BUT IT RESISTS ANY ATTEMPTS TO IDENTIFY ITS USES. IT COULD BE A DUD, OR IT COULD BE A *HELM OF BEHOLDER VISION*. I DUNNO. "TELL YA WHAT: SINCE YER OBVIOUSLY A BUYER'S BUYER, AN' I DID KINDA SNITCH YER 'BIG LETTER SPEECH' IDEA, I'LL LETCHA TAKE EITHER HELM FER 1000 SHEKELS. NON-NEGOTIABLE, OF COURSE; PAYMENT ONLY IN SPECIFICAN TRADE BARS OR GENERICAN CURRENCY. AND *NO* CHECKS!" Throcken awaits SunStorm's decision... -- Andrew Solberg |"Moving faster than a speeding bullet isn't andsol@owlnet.rice.edu | much use if you and it are headed straight Phone:713-529-8627 | for each other." John Brunner bridge-sleep-eat-sex-bridge-sleep-eat-sex-bridge-sleep-I'M STUCK!!!!