Newsgroups: alt.pub.dragons-inn
From: pjgeer@rodan.acs.syr.EDU (Phillip J. Geer)
Subject: [L&S]Party! Reiteration.
Message-ID: <1993Feb24.132910.14085@newstand.syr.edu>
Keywords: Rustan rangers Druids catastrophe
Date: Wed, 24 Feb 93 13:29:10 EST

[ADMIN] This is a reposting of an article that got pureed by my cuisinart of an
editor. Here's hoping this one gets through.

Wellp, the party was in full swing when the rangers arrived.

Rangers aren't usually the best guests at parties anyways, on account of they
don't talk much, most of what they do talk about is disinteresting to non-
rangers, and worst of all, driven by duty, they often are forced to neglect
things others of us consider important, like personal hygiene.

Thus, they rarely bathe.

Let me tell you, these four rangers had just got off duty and boy-oh-boy
were they ever PUNGENT. When those bad-boys opened the door to ShadeHaven
, I thought a demon had broke in when I smelt that brimstone. Mages were
whipping out their warding charms, priests started chanting, and one guy
actually tried to banish the rangers to the Nether Planes.

The first three rangers were locals. They were hot and tired and extremely
thirsty. So, without further ado, they charged the kegs and about 1/2 an
hour later they were found lying under various chairs in various states of
inebriation.

The fourth paused to hold the door for three of the wackiest looking men
the Host had ever seen in his life. They were barbaric in appearance.
The first introduced himself as Chlorannan. His only article of clothing
was a vine as thick as a man's wrist which he had wrapped around himself
up to his armpits. It made him look like a gargantuan Green Slinky. He
circulated the party, dropping wierd herbs into people's drinks and 
discussing the proper methods for pruning sycamore-fig trees.

The second, named Kadrakinan claimed to be the Lord Druid of Mammals. He
had, in fact, smuggled several small critters in with him, including a feroci
-looking dire wolf that kept sniffing at people's hind ends and eating
whatever was dropped.

The third called himself Borean. Borean was an Air Druid, and it was his job
to transport the three around. They were known as the Partying Druids of
BroadMoor, and their mode of travel was this:  Borean would dial up an aerial
servant and find out where the closest and wildest party was being held.
Then he polymorphed himself and his buddies into static electricity and
they bounced across clouds all the way to the party. This made for a very dramadramatic entrance, especially when Borean made a slight miscalculation and
they came down in Luthor's backyard as a giant fork of lightning which shivered
the house on its foundations and burned up some of their gracious host's shrubs.

Borean had invented a party device known as the oxygen bong. He said it was
the best thing since sliced bread and invited everyone to shoot up. The bong
generated pure and concentrated oxygen in a blast which sent a shock through
the muscles and made for a real kicker of a natural high. Borean had to physicaphysically restrain some of the guests, who, having inhaled too much oxygen,
had to be tied down to keep them from floating off into Low City.

The ranger who had guided them all here mingled with the guests but drank only
milk and ate only fresh fruit. On his way out, he mentioned in passing the
Host:  "My name is Rustan and I never met any of those buffoons over there
and if they come looking for me, tell them I ran off to the Other Side of the
Great Blue Sea and won't be back for a century."

As the Dire Wolf lifted its leg over the carpet for the third time that
night, the Host and the Hostess looked at each other and both of them 
solemnly swore that they would never, ever, ever again post an ad mentioning
the clause 'Everyone is invited' for one of their parties, never, ever again.:)

[ADMIN] Rustan is a newbie and wants into a thread so if you know one email
pjgeer@rodan.acs.syr.edu               Thanks

The Amazing M