Newsgroups: alt.pub.dragons-inn From: c164-ez@po.berkeley.edu (Hak Lien Chua) Subject: [RATS!] Finally, the next post... Message-ID: <1993Mar11.165344.6173@pasteur.Berkeley.EDU> Date: Thu, 11 Mar 1993 16:53:44 GMT [ Hello to all our fans..yeah, both of you.. sorry we took so long... ] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~//~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "He was around here somewhere." "What was that?" "What?" "That agonized scream that sounded like it was coming from the throat of a hairy fighter as he is agonisingly electrocuted by foul magic." "Dunno." "Oh. Probably nothing then. Hey, look theres a duck. Hi there duck. Haven't I seen you somewhere before?" "Quaaack," replied the duck mournfully. "Oh, well. You all look the same to me." "Hey! This wall is hollow! Listen!" Firgun knocked his way along the wall; tok, tok, tok, tok, doom, doom, tok, tok. "There. Did you hear? Its hollow." "Maybe. It is also the only wooden bit of wall that I have seen in these sewers." "Yeah. And look, theres a handle on it. Maybe its a secret door," suggested Firgun. "I am probably," he added modestly, "the best qualified here to spot secret doors. Had a lot of practice, you know." "Its worth a try I guess. Look around for the catch." They hunted the adjacent walls for a catch that would release the door, but to no avail. "Hey! The catch is hidden in the handle. Look, it turns." "Wow. Oh, wait a minute, there is a rune on the secret door; what does it say?" "It says it is a rune of moronic stupidity, of ten foot radius." "Oh. Probably not important, then. C'mon, open the door." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~//~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "I can't; I'm manacled to the altar," noted Git in an annoyed tone of voice. "I've met evil gods. They do like you to bow when you worship." "Oh, allright. If you insist, I shall unlock you. But be warned. I shall keep this here wand of fireball pointed at you, and one false move and you will be barbarian fritter. There. Now bow to the workbench. Altar. Bow to the altar." Git, not having much choice, bowed to the altar. There is, after all, a very large difference between being afraid and merely obeying the orders of a man who has a wand pointed at your back. "Good. Now praise the name of the great Sexegiesmal Sasslashisyx." "I can't." If he could just get to his axe... it was leaning against the other side of the altar, but if he tried to get it he would be roasted. "Not that I don't want to, but..." "Ha! You thought you could trick me into releasing you without making you worship the great Sexegiesmal Sasslashisyx, did you? Well, you can't trick me that easily! Roast alive, barbarian!" At that instant, the door at the far side of the room burst open, and three somewhat bedraggled and smelly figures burst into the room and tumbled to the bottom of the steps. "Unhand that warrior!" yelled firgun. "Quack!" added the duck. "You again! I should have known you would turn up you cheating rogues! Five hundred coffees, it took me to recover. If you want your warrior, you will have to come and get him!" replied the wizard hotly, as he cast a wildly inaccurate fireball at the group, or rather at the wall a good twenty feet to one side of them. "Quaaack!" The duck flailed madly in an attempt to stop its tail feathers from smoking. Firgun retaliated by casting his own fireball. Unfortunately, there was some small part of the spell that went wrong somewhere, as well as a few major parts, due, he later insisted, to the fact that he was still within 10 feet of the rune. A large and very surprised toad materialized, sped towards the evil wizard (it missed), and exploded violently (or at least wetly) against the far wall. Git took advantage of the confusion to grab his axe and brought the flat down on the back of the wizards head, knocking him out cold. "Quack." The duck sounded somehow satisfied. Within ten minutes they had stripped the secret laboratory of everything of value that was not nailed down. Obviously, anything they could pry loose was not "nailed down". Git found an attractive plain signet ring on the wizards finger, and took it, intending to have it carved with his initial when he got above ground. "Higar! Do you HAVE to take his robes?" asked Firgun, slightly shocked. "Silk robes. They get you a pretty fair price in the market, especially when theres no obvious stab holes in the back. Worth more, weight for weight, than rats." "And his underclothes?" "Its all silk. The guy must have been rolling in it." Firgun looked at himself. "Looks like I have too," he sighed. Git picked up the duck, balanced it on his shoulder and patted it on the head to show it how glad he was to have it back. The only thing they didn't take was the wand of fireball. Bakr explained that it was twisted, and thus could easily cast straight back at the group, rather than the correct target. Also, in the sewers, it could be far more dangerous. Written by Git {D.Morgan@bradford.ac.uk} - I think... Higar ----- It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it. - Stephen Wright