Newsgroups: alt.pub.dragons-inn
From: li@Data-IO.COM (Phyllis Rostykus)
Subject: [MG] Turning Around
Message-ID: <1993Jun12.023141.2788@data-io.com>
Date: Sat, 12 Jun 1993 02:31:41 GMT

[ADMIN:  This was written by Stephen Hutchison and I.  Thanks, Hutch!]

----

"River, show me how to float
 I feel like I'm sinking down
 Thought that I could get along
 But here in this water
 My feet won't touch the ground
 I need something to turn myself around."

		"Washing of the Water" - Peter Gabriel

---


        Kardia's bedroom was as she had left it.  The closet still half
open, and a few piece of skirt on the floor, where the shawl might have
looped on itself when the cloth had been imaginary.  Kardia picked the
pieces up and reflexively put them down the recycling chute.  She grinned
and ran the tip of a finger along the triangular arrows.  The staff leaned
against the kitchen counter, the bow and quiver went on the table, the
bags onto the floor of the closet, and the harp, in its case, was left on
the gel bed.  Clothing was kicked all over the place, and a drawer slid
open and Kardia smiled to find exactly what she expected to find in it.

        She pattered back to the main room in her bare feet as she tied the
white belt to close the gi over a black t-shirt and the loose white
trousers.  The gold foot was disconcerting for her to look at, so she
didn't.  It was also really odd to walk in bare feet after so long with her
shoes and socks on almost constantly.  The carpetting felt wonderous under
her feet.  She realized that the right foot was calloused from its boot
because of the spots where she couldn't feel the texture of the carpetting.
The metal of her left foot didn't slide on the carpetting anymore than the
right one did.  It did click on the flagstones.

        There were two fox women in the main room, curled up together on a
couch with a man that glittered.  One of the women smiled at Kardia as she
walked through.  Kardia nodded and smiled in response and kept going.  They
had been there when she'd come through the first time and while she had
been fascinated by the glitter of the man, she remembered enough of the
party to still be a touch uncomfortable with getting too close to them.

	When she reached the area where the satyrlion had been practicing
the kata, Kardia hesitated.  There was a red headed satyr with 'Raelf, a
big, muscular satyr, in a thong-style swimsuit.  At least he wasn't totally
naked today.  Karl, she thought and then strode in, unconsciously smoothing
her stride, years of training coming back on-line.  This was a dojo, no
matter the surroundings, the appearances of those involved.  Kardia
couldn't believe how good it felt to just walk up, stand at an at-ready
position on the edge of the lawn, breath deeply and relax into the stance.
She found herself grounding when 'Raelf caught her eye.  She smiled a
brilliant smile at him and bowed, crisp, clean and consise.

	"'Raf, what do you mean, learn how to fall?"  Karl asked a note of
disbelief in his voice.  The satyrlion 'Raelf returned her bow and Karl
looked over his shoulder to see who it was for.  A golden hand pushed
gently against the bronze red shoulder.  Karl yelled, his arms windmilled
and he fell, hitting the ground flat on his back.  Kardia winced at the
bone jarring impact.  "Hey!  Why'd you do that?"

	"You asked me about falling, dude.  Kardia, please come here?
Karl, you stand over there by the edge of the lawn."

	Kardia nodded and walked foward, feeling the adrenaline gradually
mounting in her system like a spring winding gradually tighter.  She was
surprised to find that the hands of the satyrlion were more pawlike than
she'd remembered and that he had a mane about his face.  He'd grown fur
over his body, too; the gently misting rain was beading slightly in the
fur.

	He bowed again, "Domo o-nagaishimas'? - Will you practice with me?"
She returned the bow.  "Throw your favorite punch" She set, turned, and
from her waist snapped a punch at his midsection.  He stepped sideways, one
hand catching her just behind the wrist, pulling her forward the instant
she comitted the energy to the strike.  The hand guided her forward while
his other hand came up in a strike at her side, which she instinctively
blocked hard with her left fist, and somehow she was off balance as he
knelt down and she grinned as she tucked, went down and rolled with the
fall on the soft ground.  Easy.

	'Raelf bowed and turned to Karl.  "That's the art of spirit
harmony.  There are some others, which I won't be teaching you right away,
because you should only practice one style at a time until you get some
degree of mastery, otherwise the different purposes in each art can get to
cross-purposes, and that will screw you up and really make a mess out of
your reflexes."

	Kardia came up to her feet as he was speaking, the grin still in
place.  She breathed deep and schooled it to a more sober expression.

	"You two are at different levels of skill.  Karl, you have less
formal training in the arts, so while we're here practicing, you will pay
attention to what Kardia does, as well.  No, don't make faces.  Every
school that trains fighting works this way."  He nodded to Kardia, again.
"Now I need to know what styles you've studied, so I can tell what needs to
be done first."

	"I've mostly been taught various styles of karate, borrowed from
the Japanese style and Korean or Tae-kwon Do.  I'm not belted in any of
that, mostly learned for self-defense's sake.  My teacher was mostly into
the strike based arts, but taught me how to defend, some, against the
wrestling arts.  I've always wanted to learn aikido."

	"Good.  Oh, and for confusions' sake.  I'm 'Raf; my twin brother
who's all the way human is 'Raelf.  I'll tell you more about it later."

	Kardia nodded, eyes narrowing for an instant.  "Hai."

	"Now, we're going to practice some simple things.  Karl, I was
showing this to you earlier.  This is the unbendable arm, it's an exercise
to develop your awareness of your ki flow."  He set Kardia and Karl
opposite each other, face to face.  He took Kardia's left arm, and
straightened it out, resting her wrist on Karl's shoulder, hand palm-up.
Then he placed Karl's hands together on the inside of her elbow.

	"Gently.  This is an exercise, not a macho trip.  Karl, you will be
pressing down here, trying to bend her elbow.  Kardia, you don't want your
elbow to bend.  OK, let's try it."

	The satyr's shoulder was smooth and hard under the back of her
hand.  She tensed herself for the pressure, and when his hand came down at
the crook of her elbow she tried to fight it.  Her whole body tensed in the
effort but her elbow bent under the force of the downward pressure.  She
frowned and looked up.  Karl grinned at her and winked.  His smooth skin
and hands were hot under her touch.  Kardia went white, thrown out of her
sense of this being only training situation.  Her fear froze her for a
moment, and Karl's expression changed to surprise.

	"Kardia, you're losing your center," 'Raf said, and he reached in
and tweaked Karl on the nose.  "You.  Stop reaching.  No sending out
feelings, that's not what we're studying right now."  Karl looked sheepish
and Kardia felt the heat ease up.

	"Now, Kardia, I want you to close your eyes, and find your center,
the way you did when you were punching at me."

	Kardia shivered once, then closed her eyes.  She reached for her
sense of her body and let its familiar balance and tactile senses calm her
confused emotions.  She settled back over her hips.  She felt her knees
bend a little, her chin go down just a touch.  Her back straightened from
when she'd bent to the side, trying to apply its strength to keeping her
arm up.  She breathed and relaxed her shoulders, and willed her fear out
with each breath.

	"Good."  'Raf's voice made it easily to relax even with the warmth
of Karl's shoulder under her hand.  "Now, breathe, keep the energy flowing
in to your body, down to your center, then back out to all your limbs, like
water in a fire hose."

	Kardia breathed deep, down through her diaphragm as she'd been
taught, feeling the muscles of her abdomen do the work.  She tried to
imagine the flow of energy as he described it and believed that she felt
something as she breathed out and then in again.

	"Now let it go out, through your hand, it's being replenished, no
problem, good.  (ok, Karl, now)"

	Kardia felt a light pressure against her arm, but it wasn't hard.
It grew stronger, but nothing like before.  She opened her eyes, to see
Karl struggling, pushing down with all his strength.

	"I think she's got it," 'Raf said quietly.  "Relax, Karl."

	"My turn now?" Karl asked, grinning.

	"Go ahead.  First try it with just raw muscle."

	Karl's grin got even wider, and when his hand was in place, he
tensed his arm, watching Kardia frown as she placed a hand at the hollow
where his bicep curved down to the inside of his elbow.  She began applying
pressure, and his grin gave way to gritted teeth after a minute or two, and
with a sudden sag, he gave way.

	"Not bad," 'Raf said.  "Strong boy.  Now totally relax the arm,
just let it rest on her shoulder.  You remember what I was telling you
earlier about breathing, go ahead."  Karl shifted his stance slightly, and
at 'Raelf's nod, Kardia started the pressure again.  It was like shoving
against the limb of a tree.

	"Good.  You practice that feeling on your own, Karl, while I find
out how good Kardia is at ukemi.  That's falling practice, by the way."
Karl moved off to the "rest" line while Kardia faced off against 'Raf
again.  "You're Uke right now, I'll let you practice tossing me around in a
bit.  For now, attack in whatever combinations you like.  Let's start with
the punch again."  With a grin and a sudden snap, Kardia struck at his
midsection, to be thrown again exactly the way she had been before.

	When she came back up, he waited a moment, and her lunge was met by
a swifter throw, to the side.  Kardia concentrated on following the force
of it, curling her body and taking the force of the impact across her
entire side and shifting it through her movement so that it spread some
more.  She rolled back up onto her feet and faced him again.

	"Hold.  Nice reaction but you took that as a breakfall.  There's no
reason to waste the energy, if you can use it.  Keep your ki flowing, the
fire-hose running through your body, roll along with the ground." Kardia
blinked at the idea then nodded and smiled. "Ok, let's continue."

	He sank into an open-handed ready stance, and she launched an
attack at his left side.  The throw took her arcing over the top of him.
It took effort, this time, to smooth it through, so it ended up more
awkward than she liked.  As she rolled, she felt/saw/heard his presense
behind her, and when she reached her feet she lashed out with her shining
left foot.  He caught the foot, guiding it into a high kick that flipped
her backwards.

	Kardia kicked with her right foot, adding more of her own energy
into the force of the throw.  She pushed with it in order to curve the fall
to the side.  She hit the ground rolling off her right shoulder, at a
diagonal from the original throw, with enough force to put her instantly
back on her feet.  Kardia bounced onto her feet, slamming out a double-
fist strike high-and-low; the high strike missed and she felt that furred
hand on her low wrist.  All the balanced power of the gold furred body
added to the force of her strike, moving it off to the side.  This time she
grabbed hold of the hand that held her wrist as she planted her center in
the earth and used it to double the force of 'Raelf's forward throw.  They
both left their feet.

	She let go the minute she felt too much pressure against the
leverage joint and found herself rolling to her feet in nearly a perfect
mirroring of his turning roll.  Kardia grinned, she'd landed feet two
shoulder widths apart, facing her teacher, knees bent, arms slightly spread
for balance, her body at ready for whatever he might do next.

	"Wow." said Karl from the edge of the grass.

	Kardia panted gently in the slow drizzle, and felt herself gently
blush at the single word of praise from Karl.  Her eyes were only on 'Raf's
eyes, which were the color of new turned earth.  She had rarely felt a
connection to the earth in her practices.  Alistair had spoken of
grounding, of centering oneself in the earth, but she had never felt that
centering quite so clearly.

       "Good."  'Raf bowed, grinning again, sharp feline teeth at the
corner making his smile look predatory.  "The ground is getting too wet to
do this safely here.  Would you like to come inside to one of the game
rooms?"

	"Sure," Karl said.  Kardia bowed her assent and when their
positions broke, she wiped the sweat and rain out of her eyes.
	
	"Kev, you and Little Rat can finish that later, we need to go
inside now, so you two go get cleaned up.  Your lunches are on the table in
the dining room."  'Raf waited for them to put the tools away, then patted
them affectionately on the heads as they went inside.

        As they moved inside, Kardia studied Karl and realized that she
wasn't afraid of him anymore.  The single word, and working through her
fear with the Centering technique had made the fear go away.  She grinned
to herself a little as they moved inside.  Karl caught her eye as they
walked and lifted an eyebrow in inquiry.  She just smiled and shrugged.

	The second room on the left in the hall was the one he took them
to.  The door said "dojo" in Japanese kanji, but it didn't really, and
Kardia blinked.  It was more of that strange self interpreting writing.
They went inside, to find a big bamboo room with a floor covered with a
tightly woven grass mat.  On the far wall, a large brushstroke letter on
butcher paper, "Harmony" in the old Chinese style script.  The satyrlion
bowed slightly and entered; Kardia bowed as well, so Karl decided to follow
their example.

	"OK, Karl, you start practicing the rolling fall.  Like this," and
he reached forward and in a smooth movement, rolled across his back and up
to a standing position again.  Karl duplicated the movement with little
effort, and at 'Raf's nod of approval started rolling back and forth across
the room.

	"I'm not sure what attacks you know," 'Raf said to Kardia as they
moved to the center of the room.  "I expect you know some of the standard
counterattacks and combination maneuvers.  I could show you more of the
aikido moves, but I think for right now it would be better for you to
practice defending from me.  Don't worry about us hurting each other, the
game room will protect us if we get too rough."

	"How so?"  Kardia asked, uncertain.

	"Has a two second look-ahead and something like an air bag system
only more creative.  If the possibility of harm gets to be more than .70 it
sounds a warning, and if it exceeds .85 it turns on the protective mode."
He blinked slowly.  "Before we start.  You were doing good at getting
grounded.  Don't push too far into that feeling, though, or you'll tie
yourself too much to the ground and reduce your mobility.  You'll know
the feeling, your feet will seem sticky; practice will show you the limits.
Are we ready?"

	"Ready."  She dropped into cat stance, then realized that it might
be playing to his strength.  His first strike was almost comically slow and
telegraphed, and she blocked it aside with ease.  She followed through with
the strike that usually paired with the block, and was unsurprised when it
was blocked neatly.  The second strike was a bit faster, but still easy to
decide which block to use.  This one, however, blocked him to an open
position so she didn't follow through and got a smile for her distinction.

        She shifted to a more basic stance, and he came at her with a
series of standard fist to upper body strikes.  She blocked at full force
because he wasn't coming slow and his strikes were on target.  Upper right,
upper left, then lower line right, lower line left.  Faster now.  Strikes
to either side of the face, then down by the thighs, just fist strikes.
All of them placed so that the automatic block would leave him in an open
position, so she didn't have to worry about riposting.  Again.  They ran
through the series three more times.  She remembered hours of doing this
stuff until it was automatic, but now she tried to use the ki flow idea
that 'Raf had given her in the garden in conjunction with the force flow of
the simple blocks.  

        The next twist was double strike combinations, one to a standard
area, the other along one of the decision lines.  'Raf slowed things down
again, as she adjusted to the new twist.  The standard strike was
automatic, so she could concentrate on which block she wanted to use on the
peskier second strike.  With the way she'd been taught, if a strike was
above her waist she did a certain block, if it were below, she did a
different block, another such line was about at shoulder height and another
ran vertically that divided right and left.  Now he tested how fast she
could decide which block to use on strikes in those lines.  Also, with the
doubled strikes, there were more and more opportunities for her to close
his stance and take a shot at his shoulders or side.  But most of them
disappeared before she could take them.  Gradually, he speeded things up.
Two hard shots got through on her defense at shoulder and hip before she
allowed herself to let go and not *think* each one through.

        She went with the flow.

        Two fists, one touched to the left, the other crossed center just
to the left.  Turned both to the left.  Closed.  Whirled with a roundhouse
kick low, snapped full around.  The glint of gold met only air.  A paw-like
foot came in at waist level.  Pushed with and the foot went up and around
to the left.  A snap kick and the other paw-foot sped up from below.
V-step.  Still open.  Lift.  He flipped.  The arc of the movement a beauty
she hadn't seen... A blade strike, she slid-stepped out of the way then in.
Closed.  She twisted from the waist to put her hip behind her fist in the
followup strike to his side.  It landed, hard.  She heard the expellation
of his breath.  A second punch was taken by his hand and guided to the
side.  Kardia felt herself falling and she rolled with it.

        He didn't let go of her wrist.

        Kardia ended up locked on the floor with her wrist between her
shoulder blades.  She flailed and bucked, but she was held firmly.  She was
helpless.  A tone sounded.  She flashed to her upper body being held in
exactly the same position when her foot was hacked off and paniced.  She
started a movement that might have wrenched her shoulder from its socket,
except that 'Raf had let go.  She scrambled to her feet, ungraceful but no
longer helpless.  Her panic stopped.  The tone ended.

        Kardia stood there, sobbing for breath and looked into eyes golden
with concern.  She shook her head.  "I'm sorry," she said and shook her
head again, trying to clear it.  "Recent history..." Kardia tried to get
her breathing under control.  "Slavers..." she was a little dismayed by how
flat her tone was.  "Helplessness does that to me, right now."

        'Raf nodded, and something in his eyes made it possible for her to
keep talking, telling him something that she hadn't told anyone else in
Generica.  Karl was in the far corner, shaking his head from dizziness
after another string of rolls and the sight made Kardia relax and grin in
sympathy.  Even so she spoke softly.

        "They gave me no room for any of these skills at first, and
after... the foot," she swallowed, "I was pretty broken.  That's how I got
away from the pens, finally.  Two other maimed slaves and I weren't
watched, we took off when someone who was sorry for me stole my seeds and
raw fiber back for me.  I was... night eyes and ears while they helped me
walk away.  We got to Sidia's family's home; and after I healed up, they
gave me enough to journey a couple cities away.  Maimed slaves aren't that
valuable, so I wasn't looked for."  A weight felt like it was coming off
her shoulders.  Kardia wasn't sure why, but it had something to do with the
way 'Raf was frowning.  "A Weavers' Guild took me in and in three months
sent me on my way."  The corner of her mouth twitched upwards, "Politics."

        'Raf smiled in answer to her grin.  He just stood there and rubbed
his side where she'd hit him for a moment.  Then he said, "Do you need
to stop practice for now?"

        Kardia thought a moment then sighed and wiped away the sweat.  "No.
I think I'd like to try one more exchange, with something like grounding
and see if it's any better."

        "Good."  'Raf paused a moment, "Would you want to never feel
helpless again?"

        Her eyes widened, then narrowed.  Finally, she shook her head.
"No.  I don't think that's possible without denial.  I'll always lose to
someone, somewhere, and to deny that, to not ever feel helpless even if I
am would be... well..." she shrugged, "I don't know.  It just doesn't feel
right, somehow.  I think what I need to do is figure out how not to panic
at it, is all."  She sighed and looked at the mat.

        "Sounds good."  Kardia looked up at the words to see 'Raf's smile.
His eyes were the color of where sky and sea met.

        "Ready?"

        Kardia took a horse stance, basic, balanced and breathed deep.  Her
body would be sore after all this; but it felt good, now.  "Ready."

        He bounded straight at her.  A split second of complete confusion
at the unrecognized attack and she sidestepped without getting anything
in.  But she watched his center and was able to see and intercept the
circling strike he laid down after he was by.  She took it against a
forearm, and as it still left him open, she waited.  The second was a
double strike, foot and fist, and she blocked with shin and arm.  She was
too close to completely unwind a strike, so she stepped back, disengaged.
He came with a high kick, she blocked it to the side and did a front kick,
toes curled back, ball first, aiming for his chin.  As soon as she
unleashed the kick, his hand was up, pushing it over her head.  She kicked
with her left foot to add force into the flip.  They ended up back to back.

        Kardia reached deep, getting that feeling of energy coming from her
center, and whipped around to her right in a slashing attack.  Her hands
rigid, bladed, her legs deeply bent and spread for best leverage.  She saw
'Raf flow out of her way, as if she were simply shadow to his smoke.  The
gentle touch of the edge of his hand against her forearms as he literally
brushed away her attack was as clearly imprinted on her mind as the push he
gave to her right shoulder.  Even as she lost her position, she found that
she didn't lose her balance, a sense of her grounding, her center.  She
rolled, and came up just in time to see the foot coming for her face.
She blocked, straight up with her left fist twisting to allow ki into the
flow of the block.  The kick rolled like rain off to her left.  Using the
withdrawal of her left fist as the counterbalance, she punched straight
into 'Raf's torso with her right.

        She hit something that felt like gel that flowed around her fist.
It surprised her, and 'Raf scissored her with his legs and she hit the mat.
He held her trapped, and panic started again, but something inside her
said <<breathe>> so she did, and the panic faded away, the energy still
flowed through her, into her center, out.  She relaxed.

        "Very good.  You would have tagged me without the safety system."
'Raf rolled back into a standing position.  This time he did not offer
her a hand up.  Kardia got to her feet, and they bowed to each other.
The sweat stung in her eyes.

        "Why don't you take a shower?  I'm going to work with Karl for a
while longer, and you have an appointment at the Mages' Guild with 'Raelf
and Dasham to discuss her curse in about..."  'Raf glanced down at his
fur covered arm, "two hours.  The spinning wheel in your room is now real,
if you need to get something done before then."

        Kardia nodded and then bowed a very low bow.  "Thank you." she said
softly and then ran for the door.  She bowed to the dojo before turning and
leaving.  Then she let loose a grin that felt like it stretched from ear to
ear as she ran back up to her room.

-- 
Liralen Li           | "Looking down on empty streets, all she can see are
li@inigo.Data-IO.com |  the dreams all made solid, are the dreams made real."
aka Phyllis Rostykus |  - "Mercy Street" by Peter Gabriel