Newsgroups: alt.pub.dragons-inn From: hutch@ibeam.intel.com (Steve Hutchison) Subject: [MG] Waste of Money Message-ID: Date: Sun, 18 Jul 1993 21:20:47 GMT Rook faded from visibility, then began the slow silent approach. The goal came into sight. There, sitting in his office. That arrogant unseelie elf. There was no way she'd sneak up on him, of course, unless he was really distracted. Which was why she was waiting for the early morning surge, when he was busy working his mind-control spells, keeping the bastards running the empire acting like they were honest. Now, for just one more thing... She waited -- Scorpion and Nolrimm were coming up the stair, so the desired distraction was almost complete. She had given the kids downstairs a big box of fireworks. They should be starting in any second now... >POW!< BLAMMITAPLOW! *RATATATATATATATATA* She moved. Each explosion brought her closer, each step nearer her objective. She held the long thin poinard in ready position; if she could see it through the wrap of the invisibility spell, she would see the gleam of the venom on the blade, the wet blue glint. She was in reach. She blinked. The venomed blade was on the table, Orim was standing on the other side of the desk. The elf had a smile on his golden face, one red brow arched in amusement. "Very fortunate indeed," Orim was continuing. "You could have hurt yourself very badly attacking me at that particular moment." "What did you do?" "Rook my dear, do please not make the mistake again, of thinking a simple spell of smoke and light is going to be hiding you from my vision. I saw your earth and smelled your fire. Not to mention the venom on that nasty sticker. Stasis was the politest of my prepared defenses." "All right, so it didn't work this time." "True, but it could have. With a little more research, a little more understanding of who and what I really am." "And you expected me to get this before I went after you?" "Oh, no. I expected you to trust your luck to get you through." Rook blushed. She had been getting a little lazy in that respect, though she wasn't too happy to have Orim point it out. "Gotcha there," Nolrimm laughed. "You been gettin' fat an' lazy, always did like to duck out when the work gets hard." Blink appeared and slugged him in the side, then vanished again. "Little shit, cut that out! Rook, you better stop him from doin' that or I'm gonna hurt him." "Just stop insulting her," Orim laughed, "And her knight in shining armor will stop defending her." Nolrimm glared but shut up. Scorpion just sat back in his chair, half-scowling. None of this was getting them anywhere, and it was getting worse. It was like Orim was losing his focus, his will to conquest, almost like he was getting bored with it. So maybe this time Orim would listen to the question. "Why are we doing this?" Rook nodded. "Yeah. Why _are_ we doing this? It doesn't have any bearing on keeping the Empire running. Nobody but us knows that you pull all the strings, and you pay us more than enough to keep quiet." Orim leaned on the wall, juggling daggers that appeared from nowhere. "You really want to know? I'm afraid they'll find me out." "Who?" Rook pressed the point. "The other four. My brothers in body if not in soul." "You're one mystery-loving bastard, you know that?" Nolrimm flapped his wings in and out, irritated; papers started flying across the room so he pulled them back in towards his body. "Why don't you just say what you mean?" "If I name the names, they might hear and come after me." Blink appeared beside Rook, holding a rose. She smiled and took it, leading him over to the empty couch where she started gently stroking it along his face and neck. Nolrimm looked disgusted. Scorpion got to his feet and walked over to where Orim was lounging. "Tell me again why that would be a bad thing." "Scorpion, my friend, do you remember when I fixed your body?" "That was 'Raelf." "SHH! Don't say that name out loud." Orim flinched, and made a warding gesture. The air in the room grew strangely still. "Yes, I remember it. He took me to some kind of a beach, sculpted up a body for me that wasn't made out of bug parts." "I told you, that was _me_ in there." Orim was frowning again. "The fellow who did the work is nothing like you. I know your story, the traveller who ate you, the battle with the big bad thing, you getting away, all that stuff you told us last month. There's no way to check that story out, and you know a lot about us, but that's not proof, really. But, even if I believe you, and I'm not going to say yes or no, it still makes no sense for us to keep trying to get at you." "Yes, I know. You're not very good at it, or maybe it's just that I know you too well. You're predictable, and I need the unpredictable." "Orim." Scorpion snatched one of the daggers from the pattern the Elf was juggling, and stuck it into the tabletop, "You _also_ told us that a conqueror cannot succeed without the pure will to power. Quoting that offworlder philosopher. You seem to be losing that will, and it's starting to show." Orim sucked on his lower lip pensively, letting the other daggers vanish back into their hiding places. "About that, you may be right. This has been fun, but we've pretty much reached the limit of what we can do with the Empire, short of pillaging it, and it's getting quite boring. Even with my control spells, things seem to be setting up for a long slow decline -- the locals just don't want to grasp the idea of democratic rule, but at least they've become used to the idea of public servants." He wandered across the room, mussing Nolrimm's hair as he passed. The big winged man snarled and shook it back into place. "The problem is this, my friends. We've got a government, but it's not really necessary or useful. Things work fine without it, and all the villages and provinces and vassal states haven't gained enough from the Empire that they'll want to keep it going by themselves. We've got an army which we could control if we wanted. Now, what do we want to do with them?" Nolrimm grinned, predatory. "I liked the earlier bit, pillaging, I think you called it?" "A little profit might not be a bad thing," Scorpion agreed. Rook nodded, eyes shining, and Blink just giggled, silently. "You might have a point there," Orim drawled, "but only _if_ we do it without wrecking things for the people who live here. You all remember the people, right?" "Oh, we remember," Rook said, "but it's not the people we want to be pillaging from. You've got this justice kick you like to go off on, unseelie boy. Remember the common folk, equal rights in the eyes of the gods (hah!) and nobody should be treated as if they were more worthy than anyone else. Well, how about we go after the folk that're working against that? We make our money, they take it on the nose, your precious `society of men of good will' profits by the removal of some of those men of ill will, and all of us get a break from trying to sneak up on you." "Let me sleep on it," the Elf replied. "Sleep? Since when?" Rook retorted. "You don't sleep. You're an elf, you do the meditation, just like me." Orim frowned. "Meditate then. I want you four to come up with some way that we can take apart this Empire, with a minimum of bloodshed. And I don't want to have to sit around and babysit it any longer." He vanished into thin air, again. --00-- "Well, I think it's a good idea." Nolrimm was laughing. "The first good idea he's had in a long time." Blink smiled and bowed. "But, putting a _religion_ in charge, it's just a bad idea. The priests already have too much power, that was the one thing Raoh did that I really liked." Scorpion was pacing, nervously. He reached for his mug of small-beer and accidentally snapped the handle. "Damn. Time to bleed off power again." He walked over to the stove, another one of those weird things Orim had decided they needed. A big metal drum, that put heat out into the room instead of letting it get away like the fireplaces did. The bald Waster touched the stove, and let his power leak slowly, pleasantly, into the metal. A minute later, the stove was glowing a faint cherry-red, and Scorpion felt much more relaxed. "No, I don't think we want a religion." Blink signed animatedly, too fast for Scorpion to follow. Rook laughed. "He says it would serve them right, the ones who are left from Raoh's administration. He says that if we pick the right god, the priests would be less corrupt than the ... wait, sign that again.. What is that sign, I don't know that one. Oh." She suppressed a snicker. "Than the dog-parrot-children-together-mistake that Raoh chose for his higher-ups." "Yeah, but Orim did say take apart the Empire," Nolrimm laughed. "Show me how that sign goes, Blink." The teleporter repeated the gesture, slowly. Nolrimm copied it until he got it right. "Still. I think it's an interesting idea," Rook said, "But it seems that it may take a while, and with priests involved, it's going to use up money that we have a personal interest in." "Maybe not," Scorpion said, "Depends on how it's done. Anyway. We have four ideas. First, we pick new rulers for the five major parts and set them up as governments. Second, Orim zaps the governors to be straight moral upright bastards, so they run things right and choose good folks for successors, and he makes the military just enforce the law instead of going off to conquer everything. Then everything falls apart in its own time. Third idea, we find someone who can take over his control spells and hand over the empire, if there's someone we can trust for it. Fourth idea, we find some bunch of priests and get them to take over running the show." "Fifth idea," came a voice from nowhere, "We find someone who can replace Raoh, but without his love of conquest." Orim faded into view, standing by the door. "But finding a competent, trustworthy king isn't a very easy thing to do. Let's work on this later, folks. I like the way that you went after solving the real problem before you went after how to make a profit from it. So I think I'm going to buy you all dinner, and tell you all a story." They changed to going-in-public attire, Scorpion dragging out a tight knit watchcap and a leather coat, Rook putting on her fancy red cloak. Nolrimm found his own cloak, and folded his wings into the pockets that concealed and protected them. "Scorp, is the spell on this cloak still working?" "Yeah. Ugly as sin, but no honking huge wings." "Ugly? Huh. Blond kitty fixed the nose." Scorpion just laughed and adjusted the straps on his coat. Blink disappeared and reappeared a minute later in something almost indistinguishable from the elven attire that Rook usually dressed him in. It showed his lean frame to advantage, and she gave him a quick glance and a nod of approval. Orim nodded. "Everyone ready? Blink, please focus us to the Gran Crouton in south Plampenny." Orim made a complex gesture that swept around to include the group, as Blink sent his teleporter's pre-vision off to the restaurant that the Elf had named. There was an empty spot on the boardwalk, away from the crowd and out of sight. Something pushed, and they were there, a sudden cold draft from the wind off the bay ruffling their clothing. They followed Orim to the entrance. "Reservation for five, DeStruente is the name." "Right this way, sir." The maitre d' led them to a table with a view of the setting sun in clouds, a magical barrier keeping the cold wind and ocean spray from coming in through the gilded screen that covered the unglazed windowframe. Violi and something like a harpsichord were being played in one corner of the restaurant. "Dinner this evening is the Lobster en Cravat, or we have a lovely compote of fresh sea-fruits and imported vegetable delicacies from the Southern Islands. Your waiter will be Enrie." The maitre d' left them alone with a fawning tallow-haired man in an improbable costume that was cut to resemble a crab or maybe a shrimp. Nolrimm started to say something, seeing this, but his jaw clamped shut of its own accord and he just sat quietly. The waiter took their wine and dinner orders, then scurried off. Nolrimm had been getting red in the face, and with a gasp, broke free of the compulsion. He took three deep breaths, held one, then finally exhaled. "Elf, I got good manners when I want to, you don't have to go clamping down on me." "Just a precaution. These folks react poorly to being laughed at. They burn the food, you don't want burned lobster." "Damnit. Just keep your damned spells out of my head." "I apologize then. Next time I'll take us to the Spitting Cobra and you can have grakhma." At this, Nolrimm subsided, growling to himself. Scorpion raised one eyebrow. "Orim, what's this story you were gonna tell?" "Very well. Since the wine is here. Excellent, Enrie. My compliments to the master of the cellars. Now where was I... Ah. I recently learned that Generica is still there. So, my other selves must have won their battle. This means they'll be coming for me any day now. They may have some objection to my continuing to exercise control over this little empire. So I'm going to be handing it over to you four. Rook, you and Scorpion both have the codes and activation patterns to handle the governors. Just use the scrolls for each of them, reinforce their honesty compulsions once a week and you'll be fine. Nolrimm, you have the codes and patterns for the military, and Blink, you know where all the remote rebroadcast units are located. So between the four of you, figure out how you want to handle things. You can keep the current state going for at least another five years, if you really want, maybe even longer, but you won't be able to place any new controls and the people running things will die off eventually." "So which plan do _you_ think we should use?" Scorpion asked, very quietly, his eyes narrowed. "I don't know. I'm just going to enjoy this lovely dinner, and listen to the music." Orim smiled, and poured another glass of wine.