Newsgroups: alt.pub.dragons-inn
From: arsmith@nyx.cs.du.edu (Alan Smith)
Subject: [NTY] Outside.
Message-ID: <1993Aug4.231709.13568@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu>
Date: Wed, 4 Aug 93 23:17:09 GMT

Palandun and Shagrat found and began following the trail of the barbarians
where it left the ruins.  Fairly swiftly Palandun learned that a man who
spent most of his life renting camels in alamatar was useless as an 
adventuring companion.  They followed tracks out of the desert, into western
parahan, a place neither of them had been before.  Palandun really found it
hard to believe that Shagrat had never left the city, while Shagrat had 
similar wonders about how Palandun could have dared go anywhere where he
didn't know the people.
  Palandun looked around him.  "All I see is us, and I know us," He said.
  "Well, my friends never get kidnapped."  Shagrat retorted.
  "He's not a friend." Palandun corrected.

  They rode the rest of the day in silence.  Susk finally settled in and they
decided to pitch camp.  They lit a fire, fed the camels, and staked out
their beds.  Palandun had finally dozed off when he was shaken awake:
  "There's something out there."  Shagrat said, real close to his face.  
Palandun looked where he was pointing, saw two beady eyes and some slobber.
  "Orc Dogs." Palandun the Biologist pronounced, "Do you know how to set wards?"
Shagrat said he didn't.  "Then we'll have to do it the old fashioned way, help
me out."  He stood up, walked over to the bush nearest the beady eyes, and un
fastened his shorts.  "I want you to get those bushes over there."  He
pointed to the other side of the camp, "Remember a little goes a long way."
  "What do you want me to do, piss on them?" Shagrat asked.
  "That's right."
  It occured to Palandun, as he stood there waiting for the attack of bashful
bladder to let up, that standing around just a bush away from an Orc Dog with
his willy hanging out, (Palandun's, though O.D.'s are notoriously bad about
wearing pants) was not the most secure positon to be.  Palandun finally got
going, peed, moved, peed, moved, peed, and finally described a half-circle.
It took a little convincing to get Shagrat to do the other half, but he
saw reason when Palandun remarked that otherwise the orc dogs would eat them
and the camels.

  The next morning Shagrat had some news: "I'm not coming with you, I
can't handle it any more."  Palandun stared at him a long time, rage
building up inside.  He was about to call Shagrat a coward and a welcher and
several other names besides, but finally decided against it.
  "Okay." He said, "I'm keeping the camel."

  The two of them rode off in opposite directions, palandun had guilted Shagrat
into letting him hang on to the camel, and Shagrat began composing lies for
his adventure.