From: spider@zk3.dec.com (Spider Boardman) Newsgroups: alt.pub.dragons-inn Subject: [Welcome] Jac: Of cabbages and kings Date: 09 Aug 1993 01:42:13 GMT Message-ID: References: <1993Aug6.174831.1245@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> [ADMIN: The other [welcome] thread postings which have reached me as I post this have all indicated that they come after someone else's story. Someone has to be first, and I have just the impulsive character to do it! However, if posts do cross in the news, I tried to word the intro generically enough that it still works even if someone else gets in there before Jac. I hope you enjoy this. ] As Jac took a seat at the center table, he looked to see whether anyone else was going to give Ja'nis her requested time to think. Seeing his moment, he began to speak. "Greetings, fellow travelers. I am called Jac Benson, and my tale is of distant lands indeed. It takes place in a region called The Homelands, an archipelago of twelve major islands and uncounted smaller ones, in a land called Faerie by its older inhabitants. In particular, I'll be starting the tale on the continent-sized island named Orv. "That island had been rendered uninhabitable due to the mana storms which resulted from a war, and had been abandoned for five hundred years. Finally, it seemed safe to re-colonize. The old Empire of Oth had reclaimed about a third of the island, and had moved its capitol back to the ancient port of T'Rith. That resplendent city had been restored for only about fifty years when this tale takes place, and the Urukhar (a kind of orc) from whom it had been wrested were still trying to take it back. "My friend Geof and I had been living in the Free City of Galt, a place in the interior of Orv, which was near the frontier of the reclaimed portion of Oth's domain. We had been serving as mercenaries with some nearby elves, and it came to pass that word needed to be taken to the king of Oth about the events which had transpired. A group of us went into Galt, looking to hire a messenger, but we found that none of the bonded guild of message-carriers would take our commission. After additional inquiry, we found that all communication with T'Rith had been cut off for something like eight months. "Our elvish employer, who turned out to be a high noble among his kind, felt that he really had to get a message through to his ally, and started making plans. Our contracts had been discharged once we returned to Galt, but some of us who had been serving under him had taken a liking to him. We thought about the situation, and considered our options." He started ticking things off on his fingers. "It's cheaper to live on the road than in town." He grinned. "Especially when someone else is supplying the grub. Then, there was the sheer glory of getting a message through to the King. And, of course, there was the chance to seek adventure or whatever came our way." The corners of his mouth twitched in a brief smirk. "On the negative side, we could get ourselves killed. We were all young enough to think that we were immortal, or at least we were easily overcome by idealism." He grinned wryly and spread his hands. "So, how could we stay behind? We gathered our gear and went off to rejoin Sil. That's what we called the elf in question, since we didn't have the vocal equipment to say his name properly. Anyway, he accepted us into his entourage, and we were off. "We spent a few uneventful days on the road, which gave us a chance to settle down and start questioning our collective sanity in volunteering for such an expedition. We were becoming acutely aware of how much we liked having a roof over our heads when it rained, and how nice it would be to have clean beds with no bugs in them. Then, one night, we were all surprised to discover a centaur and some human fighter-types bursting into our camp. Due to the layout of the situation, it fell mostly to me to try to deal with the centaur. There was one other on that end at the start, a dwarf named Ari, but the centaur wounded him pretty seriously early on. "I was extending my senses, trying to find the best way to take care of the situation, and I discovered that he was acting under a compulsion of some kind. I also managed to notice that his sword was cursed. Being a firm proponent of William of Occam, I came to the conclusion that his sword was responsible for the compulsion. After a few tries, I managed to separate him from his sword with a flying jump kick. I expected him to stop attacking then, so I stood and waited. He did say 'thank you', but he then started after me with fists and hooves, and drew a dagger to add to his damage potential. "He had become more dangerous, and was still under a compulsion. I managed to grab up part of my bedroll and tripped him up with it. Once he was down, I whacked him on the head a couple times until he was still. Finally having some attention to spare, I looked to see how the rest of the fight was progressing. My friends had finished subduing their attackers, and were coming over to reinforce my position just in time to help bind both prisoner and wounds. "We managed to take care of securing the prisoners and patching up our wounded. In the process of patching up poor Ari, it became obvious that Sil was either a paladin or some kind of cleric. Whichever it was, we had everyone back on the active duty roster. "Having achieved some sort of safety again, we started trying to extract information from our captives. None of them seemed to know why they had been attacking us. We did some divinations, and figured out that the centaur, at least, was under the effects of something like a geas. A bit more investigation showed that it had been placed psionically rather than magically." Jac sighed and shook his head. "The rest of our group turned and looked at Geof and me. 'All right,' they were thinking, 'you guys are the mentalists.' Geof and I looked at each other, and then at Sil. We told him, 'We get to ride tomorrow.' It took us past sunrise to figure it out, but we finally managed to lift the controls from the centaur's mind. Between what we found out in the process and what he could tell us afterward, we learned enough to know where we should head next. Geof and I then had to fix the compulsions on the other prisoners, since we couldn't let them go until we had. By then, we were so exhausted we had to be helped onto the back of Sil's mount, and we slept heavily while our company traveled onward. "A day or two later, we came upon a group of the invaders. They were of a species which we had never seen before. They proved to have technological weaponry, which made us dive for cover quickly. Since we were in a forested area, that worked out well. They were well-armoured, but proved inordinately susceptible to magic spells. They beat a hasty retreat. "We gave chase, but they managed to enter what looked like a strange fortress, and closed up its doors. It then flew off to the north, where it met up with two more of its kind. The strange craft were oblate spheroids in general shape--sort of like a pair of dinner plates stuck together. We tried to disable one by shooting off a fireball at it. Unfortunately, their vulnerability to magic extended to their transport. It was destroyed, and there were no survivors. We had wanted prisoners to question. We got a slaughter. We didn't feel too good about ourselves right then. "We were saved from the consequences of any additional clumsiness on our part by the swift departure of the flying ships. They zoomed around to the west and south almost faster than the eye could see. We resumed our journey westward, keeping a watch out for their return. There were no more untoward incidents until we reached the environs of T'Rith itself. "We were just starting to relax, thinking that we'd soon be safe, when we saw that the city was under attack by a horde of Urukhar. The city's own fortifications and defenses seemed to be dealing with them well enough, but we were worried that they would rout in our direction. Besides that, we were still frustrated by our previous encounter, and the Uruks were in our way. We charged. "Their first clue as to our presence was the terrible baying of the elvish war dog, which is a beast the size of a house. They tried to see this new, unexpected threat, but we had the rising sun behind us. We were effectively invisible to them until we were too close for their archers. Between Sil's efforts from the back of the war dog, and a berserk dwarf running around swinging a battleaxe, and the fireballs from some mage hidden behind Sil, and something they couldn't identify which was wreathed in flames, fighting with a pair of swords, inflicting wounds that kept burning, and seemingly immune to their weapons--well, their morale broke in short order. "I managed to collar one before they all got away. I wanted to question him about their attack, since I was suspecting that it was connected with the strange beings we had met on the highway. There turned out to be no connection, but the Uruk proved to be a throwback. He was not inherently a creature of the darkness. In fact, once Geof, Sil, and I had discussed metaphysics with him, he turned his life around. Sil wound up sponsoring him into the Llurian Fighters--an elvish holy order." Jac shook his head and chuckled. "If you had told me before that time that I'd someday see an orc enrolled in a school for elvish paladins, I'd have choked. I think some of the elves _did_ choke on it, but Sil can be very persuasive. "Well, we got into the city, and Sil arranged an audience with His Majesty. He took us along as his honour guard, for the sake of appearances. When he came back out of the throne room, Geof and I were summoned. We picked our jaws up off the floor and dazedly wandered into the Royal Presence. We were quizzed about our recollections of the encounters on the road from Galt to T'Rith, and then informed that Sil had recommended us for a further commission from the King. If we carried it off well, there might even be lands and titles attached. We were still too dazed to think of refusing, so we took him up on it. "We were given some funds, and were instructed to get to the twin port cities of Durin-Marid. From there, we were to secure passage to a place called Trantor, therein to see what we could learn about the possible identity, nature, and such, of the strange beings which had been blocking the King's Highway. We were allowed to take volunteers from among the mercenaries, if we thought them trustworthy. We wound up with two of our comrades-at-arms coming with us. Everyone else went back with Sil, who needed to return to his official duties. "The four of us didn't think we'd make it to Durin-Marid unaided, so we hired on as guards with a merchant caravan which was going there. We set out on our journey. I was enjoying our last bit of forest before we got to the plains, and thence the desert. I saw a raccoon watching us from the trees, so I went over to talk to it. I thought soothing thoughts at it, told it I wanted to be its friend, and offered it some of my food. "Apparently, it was impressed that I wanted to make a friend, rather than a pet or a meal, since it sat up, looked me right in the eye, and said 'hello.' If I hadn't been tied into my saddle, I think I'd have fallen off my camel. He asked me my name, and then introduced himself by the name of Chirrak. After a short bit of discussion as to what I was doing, he decided to come along with me for a while. "After a couple of days, I was getting rather used to the little guy. We'd talk about his forest, and what I'd seen in my travels, and we'd share some of my rations, or just sit quietly enjoying each other's company. Then my tranquility was disturbed when we sighted a band of brigands riding toward us. It looked bigger than normal. We weren't at all sure there were enough guards to make any difference at all. Chirrak asked me if I thought we could take them, and I told him the truth. He jumped off my shoulder. Suddenly, we were buffeted by an immense wind, with all the associated dust and sand flying into our faces. When we could see again, there was a dragon flying straight toward the brigands. A few passes of fiery breath, and they were fleeing at top speed. "Remembering my experience with the centaur and his cursed sword, I didn't want to start adding two and two just yet. I figured I'd get five for the answer again. However, the dragon came our way, turned into raven as it neared us, landed on my shoulder, and turned into a raccoon again. He then quipped, 'Where's lunch?' Numbly, I fed him some. "I was thinking in high gear while he ate. I wasn't sure how I felt about knowing that this cute little furball on my shoulder could as easily eat both me and my camel as a bit of my hardtack. I forced myself to think it through without getting hung up on that point. I came to the realisation that it had been as true while I was blissfully enjoying his company the day before as it was now, so there was no reason not to go on enjoying his company. I told that to myself several times, trying to get myself to believe it, not just to think it. "He looked at me when he'd finished eating. I asked him, 'Are there more like you at home?' I don't think my bravado fooled him a bit. The fact that I made the attempt seemed to help, though. We had a wider range of conversation after that, since he could now admit to being a sand-cliffs dragon. "Chirrak left us when we got to Durin-Marid, heading back home his own way. We found a ship to take us to Trantor. The voyage turned out to involve some of the aspects of fragmented geometry in The Homelands. We sailed a faerie sea, and did some dimensional shifting. The harbor at which we arrived was in a high technology world. The city had a spaceport as well as a sea port. "Some of what transpired there I don't feel I'm at liberty to say, since I'd be telling other people's stories for them. I can say that we did get the help of some natives there in tracking down the aliens who had been investigating Orv. One of them, a woman named Chelsea, wasn't all that happy there, and she decided to come back with me. "Our return voyage was uneventful, as was our caravan journey back from Durin-Marid to T'Rith. When Geof and I tried to get in to see the King, however, the Seneschal informed us that he was busy supervising a tourney. If we wanted to see the King before another week went by, we'd have to enter the competitions. We didn't like the idea, but we liked paying the outrageous prices for lodging in that city even less. "So, we signed in. Our training in unconventional fighting styles won us a few victories, too. Enough so that we found ourselves standing as candidates for knighthood. All we had to do was to pick a noble sponsor. We didn't understand the rules, and had heard some nasty rumours about many of the nobles present. Besides, we were still wanting to see the King. Obviously, that's who we chose. "This caused quite a stir. Being foreigners, we'd been unaware of the traditions. It was unheard of to pick the King Himself. It turned out to be legal, though. Then one of the higher-ranking nobles pointed out a contradiction in the laws involved. We could pick whichever noble sponsor we wanted, all right, but the King couldn't sponsor anyone who wasn't of the Royal Family. This raised some consternation, too, of course. Then the King solved it by declaring us to be adopted into some obscure part of the Royal Family. Since it was now suddenly legal after all, he sponsored us as knights. I finally figured out that we'd been set up. "We were confirmed as knights, and finally allowed to have an audience with His Majesty. After debriefing us on our findings in Trantor, and telling us to keep whatever we hadn't spent from the monies we'd been allocated for the journey, he told us that he wanted us to pick an order for private audiences. We matched for it, scissors-paper-stone, and I won. Geof had to go first. "We were given no opportunity to compare notes between his exit and my summons. This time in facing the King, I had all my composure about me. That was actually a mistake, since I had no good sense to go with it. He asked me what sort of title and lands I wanted. I told him that I'd always wanted to be a Grand Duke of a frontier domain with lots of forested area and nice streams. I though I'd tick him off just enough to make him forget about the whole thing, and let me get off without acquiring any more responsibility than I'd already gained when knighted. "No such luck. He gave me a grant of land such as I had specified, and made me a duke. I discovered that his declaration of such had more than just the force of law behind it, too. I had been given an aura that declared my authority. People could tell that I was a duke. It was many years before I learned how to suppress it while traveling in other lands. It's still not easy." He let his aura flare out, and all at and around the table suddenly _knew_ they were in the presence of high nobility. With a visible effort, Jac managed to suppress it again. "So, that's the story of how I learned a thing or two about prejudice, and how I got to be a duke by shooting my mouth off to a King." This time, he was ready when Serene brought him his next drink, and he caught it in his hand. He raised his glass and looked at Luthor. "To your health." He sipped his drink and looked around the table. "And remember, things are seldom what they seem." He leaned back in his chair to await the next person's tale. [ADMIN: Notes on pronunciation and the like. "M'arrella" (who is not mentioned in this post, but that doesn't matter) is pronounced like the trill a cat utters forth when it wants you to make its toy fun again. "Chirrak" is supposed to sound like the chirruping sound a raccoon sometimes makes. "Geof" sounds a little bit like "Jofe", and not exactly the same as "Jeff". "Jac" really is said the same as "Jack". It's an affectation of his that he makes a distinction between an abbreviation of "Jacob" and a nickname for "John". The truth is, he's just too lazy when writing it to bother with a fourth letter. ] -- Spider Boardman spider@zk3.dec.com DEC OSF/1 development ...!decvax!spider I don't speak for DEC, and vice versa.