Newsgroups: alt.pub.dragons-inn From: hutch@ibeam.intel.com (Steve Hutchison) Subject: [LR][Green] Dreams, Knowledge, and Impulse Message-ID: Date: Mon, 6 Dec 1993 21:14:20 GMT [ADMIN] This is a joint post by Mike Sander and myself. It's mostly Mike, but with revisions by me and with the scenes in the Green coming from the Green'sKeeper, HeeWho'sRealNameMustNotBeSpokeOutLoud. This post is copyright 1993 by Mike Sander and Stephen Hutchison. Permission granted for distribution via standard Usenet channels and for archival; all other rights reserved. == I laid there with one eye partly open, wrapped in memory. It looked like sleep, but it was only good for about an hour or two. By now, Little Rat was really asleep. I played at faking the same thing, for a while, arranging to move only when it would seem like the normal motions of someone having an active dream. And, after a half hour or so, the imitation wae so perfect that I couldn't stand it any more. I opened my eyes again. Lancos, having removed Rat's head from his leg, now circled the fire. Judging from the way he was putting more pressure on one leg, he had probably risen to work out a cramp. Eventually, his steps became more normal, as he walked around the perimeter. Actually, now that I had a chance to look at it, for really the first time in weeks, probably the first time since the whole MAR affair concluded... Lancos' stride was different from what it had once been. Now, even his normal walk seemed to include just enough spacing between his legs so that Bast could run through whenever she wished. I smiled, wondering if Lancos knew how comfortable with the cat he was becoming. Perhaps he did, since the ranger stopped suddenly, looking back towards where she was resting, between me and Little Rat. Lancos found a rock to sit on and leaned slightly forward. I wondered whether he'd finish the pose. He looked just like Rodin's Thinker, except that he didn't have the right hand cupping the chin. No, he moved, darn. He removed his backpack, opened it, and set it on the ground. Then he did something that bugged me: he took out his medallion. Even worse, he was staring at it deeply, like he was in a trance. Lancos had always claimed he could handle that thing, but I wasn't going to chance it. Especially since I could see it waking up again. It was time for action. I rose, careful not to wake Rat, and headed towards Lancos. His head snapped up suddenly, probably at the sound of movement. I took it as an encouraging sign. "I thought you was asleep," I said with a grin. "No, but _you_ should be, Kev," Lancos replied. "What are you doing up?" "Dere's sumfin' I gotta show ya. I'd ask ya to sit, 'cept you already are." I grinned wider, hoping he would recognize the expression. A look of suspicion crossed his face -- seems like he did. Lancos shifted his position then, to fully look at me. In his eyes I saw a reflection of the flicker as I shifted my elements around, playing the balancing game without really disassembling completely. I watched his eyes follow me as I grew taller, to a height of just over six feet. Size was right... now the hard part was making my body older, because tonight I couldn't hide behind the playful folly of the seven-year-old. Keep it light, I reminded myself. Older doesn't require deadly serious. I looked at my reflection in his eyes -- I had become a man in late teens, with jet-black curly hair prisoned under a reversed Portland Beavers baseball cap, and dark brown skin contrasting with bright white teeth set in my trademark grin. "I'd go blond but I want to save the energy," I said in a deeper voice, one just a hair off from "brother" 'Raelf's. "What do you think?" Lancos smiled. "The truth? I'm not really surprised." "Shoot. And here I was looking forward to that perplexed look of yours," I teased. Yeah, keep it light. "Hope you don't mind if I stay older for a while. It's easier to talk about adult stuff as an adult." "Sure. Do whatever makes you the most comfortable." "Thanks. Anyway, the main reason I'm doing this is to offer to take part of the watch. I don't really need sleep, and you might. Or," I grinned, nodding at the medallion, "you might take advantage of my long standing offer, and let me analyze that thing for you." "Thanks for the offers, but I don't think either are necessary. At least not right now." He gave a glance at the amulet. It tried to pretend it wasn't awake. Like I couldn't see the fire running along its edges. Lancos looked back at me and put it into one of the pouches in his belt. I took that to mean that he wanted to end that topic there. Which was fine by me, since the thing hadn't hooked into him at all, even though it was wide awake now. So it was still safe. But I didn't really want to go pretend to be asleep any more. "All right then, I'll just sit up with you and talk a bit. So tell me, what ruined my surprise?" It was time to try to find out what he knew, and how fast he was learning about us. "Well, after what ar'Elya told me about 'kan children, it wasn't all that hard to figure out. Though I didn't know which one of you Kev was ... um, connected to until I saw that familiar cat-like grin." I flashed the grin at him in reply. "Gave me away, huh? How come you didn't say anything?" "Heh. Well, this is really the first chance I've had. And can you imagine the reaction if I'd been the least bit wrong? Besides, it's far from the only thing I've found out without you having to tell me, when you've been around to do so." He was wearing an expression I recognized, his "you have to ask for it" espression. Well, it's his game, I'll play it. I went for the bait. "I wouldn't doubt you for a second. But you _have_ gotten my interest, so like what _have_ you found out?" "Like the fact that this 'park' is sentient." "Uh, yeah. That's not all there is to it, y'know. But that's more than a lot of people will ever realize. I'm glad you found it out." I shifted, crouching down to eye-level with the ranger, and poured out a little hot water from the pot over the campfire into a cup, picking a chai leaf from a friendly bush nearby and crumbling it into the water. Earl Grey, from the smell. I muttered a thanks to the bush, then turned my attention back towards Lancos. He was glancing down at his backpack. The flap on the outer pocket was still open from when the medallion had been taken out, and the parchment he had used to take notes earlier was glittering in the firelight. Sparkly, that ink that he was using. Wonder if he knew it was magical? I forced myself to pay attention to what he was saying. "Which reminds me. I pretty much finished the map of this place, or at least the way it looks now. But next time try to give me an easier task, like counting the trees in the Great Forest." Lancos put on a sly grin, as if I'd doubt he was being sarcastic. I matched his grin with my own. "Coolness. We can adjust things as needed back at the Lighthouse, we just needed the template as a starting place. You better give it directly to 'Raelf, though. I don't want to explain to the Rat how I got a hold of it." "Right... Little Rat. I should go check on her again." "She's fine. She didn't want to fall asleep at first, but now she should be safe in Morpheus' arms until morning. Not to mention the Green's." "Morpheus?" I was surprised he didn't know the name -- I knew it was part of the prevailing culture in the world where he said he grew up. But then, he was raised in a theatrical troupe, so he could have missed out on the established religions. I tried some alternatives. "Hmm. You might know him better as Oneiros, or maybe even as Kai'Chul." He gave me another familiar look, the puzzlement in it suggesting that I might as well be talking about nuclear physics. "Guess not. To put it simply, he's the overseer of sleep, the master of dreams. He's kind of like a god, but not really." "Oh, ok. I'm sure we have an equivalent where I come from, but I never really have been that informed about Gods and Goddesses." I chuckled at the expression on his face. "Yeah, I know the feeling. That sort of stuff's more to Mirabel's liking. I ... don't like gods, myself. They're hazardous. They like to mess with people's souls. And even Sister El'n and Father Howard don't really _like_ them." I noticed that I was frowning, hard. Memories again. I don't like gods because one of them killed me and tried to eat me. But this is too gloomy. I swapped the frown for a mischievous grin, something more appropriate for me being seven-year-old Kev. "Any other deep revelations, oh learned and wise one?" "Of course." Lancos said, a smile briefly flashing across his face, before it faded. "Like the idea that you -- or perhaps I should say 'Raf -- turned Rhythm Song into the satyrs they are now. And the few beastmen I saw along the way suggested they weren't the only ones." I felt slightly embarassed by the way he said that; I even blushed a little. "Hmm. I don't like that term 'beastmen', but I'll skip it for now. When you get back to the Lighthose you should read the Examiner article. I thought you _knew_ that it was 'Raf who did the changes." "Actually, you only implied it, though I probably should have guessed earlier. I had 'Raf's memory, but that only showed that he gained the ability, not if he used it, or on whom. I'm sure you meant to tell me, but BBD's spell on me caused other things to get in the way..." He let out a long sigh. Ugh, I didn't want Lancos to dwell on that again. So I quickly moved the conversation along. "So, how'd you figure it out?" "Bits and pieces; here and there. What made the idea its fullest was the practice. I never saw a satyr fight before then, but I _did_ talk to one who said when forced into combat, a lot of his kind preferred to use their horns as a weapon. I doubt any of them knew martial arts, but still, they almost used what would seem an obvious weapon, and one more likely to damage than some of the attacks they made." I nodded. "Well, there are a few small holes in that logic." Especially the stuff about fighting, but I figured if he didn't know about how satyrs use emotion as their first weapon, he'd learn soon enough. I paused for a minute, thinking how to tell him. "... But you've got the basic idea. See, all the changers are learning to act like the kind of whatever that they are now; soon even people like _you_," I pointed at him sharply and the fire popped, "won't know the difference. But anyway, what's your angle on this?" "Me? Sorry, but the last time my head hit anything hard, it almost helped cost Generica its freedom," Lancos replied with a half-grin. I refused to be baited. "You know what I mean. What do you think of the whole, uhm, changeling event?" I sipped my tea quietly. Keeping the rather forced grin, he conceded. "All right, but remember that you asked for it... "You see, I've put a good deal of thought into it. On one hand, I know several stories of greed, of people who weren't satisfied when they had more than most people could ask for. That sort of thing makes me wonder what'll happen if one of the transformed people asks for _another_ desire. Particularly if they want to be turned back, or into something else, whether because they 'get tired', or if only because they can't handle how cruel society can be to those who are different. And then there's a part of my mind -- that section which will never quite be comfortable around most magic -- that can't help but feel that changing people in this deep a way is just plain _wrong_, something near the level of what the Dark Master tried to do to us. "And I would have brought up the subject before, if I didn't think that, deep in my heart, I'm sort of jealous. I know you better than to doubt that those people were anything less than fully willing, or else I feel you would have worked until you could set things right. And I can't escape the thought of them becoming what they want to be -- perhaps what they were _meant_ to be -- and doing so without having to worry about control. That answers all my questions and doubts, and I wish them the best of luck..." I was taken aback slightly. I hadn't expected anything like this; nothing so personal or deep-rooted from Lancos, who tended to keep his real thoughts private. There wasn't anything I could tell him, then, without breaking the moment. I waited for a few seconds, until he looked into my face. Then I whispered, "Thanks. For trusting me with that." I continued to look at him, letting him see in my eyes how I felt. Lancos gave a weak grin. "Now I guess you know what I've been doing all those sleepless nights. That's the way it always seems to be: thoughts of what might be -- which has proven invaluable on the battlefield -- and what might have been. Don't get me wrong, though: I'm not going to ask you to risk work with the medallion unless the situation was an emergency. And 'Raf -- probably along with the rest of you -- knows that my desire doesn't lie along those lines. I guess tonight I'm just thinking about friends, and possible family..." I stood up and walked close, and put a reassuring hand on my friend's shoulder. "And where does Little Rat fit in that?" He sighed. "Only in the former, any longer. She may see you as a gang, and you may see it as watching over someone else's child, but I -- and probably Generica in general -- see her as your daugther, adopted or not. I know she's happy at the Lighthouse, and I won't take that away from her. But I _do_ care for her, and I'll do my best to help her as I can. Which is why I told the story I did: I think I might have partially inspired her to become a warrior, and I thought it fair to show _my_ beginning." "I wondered about why you were so insistent on doing this. Y'know, if that's how you feel, there's hundreds of Low Town children who could use the same sort of help." "Yes, I know. And the thought has crossed my mind. Of course, it wouldn't be easy. It would take a while before trust was built up, and certainly before that sort of relationship was made. And I'm not sure I want that: there's other things I'm thinking about..." "Uh huh. What other things?" "Uh, actually, I'd rather not say, until I know for sure what I'm going to do." "All right. Not a problem." Lancos had revealed a lot to me tonight; there was no reason to push him for more. Then there was nothing but silence for a minute, before Lancos spoke up again, looking me straight in the eyes. "Kev, is that offer to watch over the campsite still available?" "Sure, can do. Are you going to catch some Z's?" I knew he wasn't but the temptation to tease him was irresistable. "Actually, no. I was just remembering a teaching from one of my tutors back in the caravan. He said, 'In plays, as in life, it's best to have a little comedy, or a little impulsiveness, after a long stretch of tragedy.'. What I just said might not quite qualify as tragedy, but I thought I'd follow the advice, and take a little jog through the park." "Hey, you want to cut loose a little, _I'm_ not going to stop you." I smiled, motioning him forward with my hands. Lancos stood up, picked up his backpack, and headed off on the trail. I took the pattern that my prime-self had given me and contacted the Green, asking it for permission to follow Lancos via one of its nightbird probes. It shared the vision with me and I followed his progress. Not that I didn't trust him, but curiousity got the better of me. And it turned out to be worth the effort, when Lancos pulled out the medallion and put it on for probably the first time since the Dragon Quest. I was torn, I wanted to go along and help, but he had been pretty clear about not wanting me to endanger myself by contact with that medallion. (Some day he'll clue that I am in _no_ danger from the damn thing, mental, physical, or whatever. If I didn't know better I'd think it had hooks into his undermind keeping him from giving it up, but my last two tests said it doesn't. Not now, that is.) I wondered if he knew everything it was doing. He stayed human, that much was clear, and the Green told me that his mind was still his own. But he was moving through the dark like he was in daylight, and he was stopping to sniff and listen like a hunting cat. He avoided the first people he came across, which gave me a bit more confidence. It looked like he was just exploring the Green. He'd kept us clear of some parts that were a little strange, I guess to keep thing simple for Little Rat, or maybe so he wouldn't have to explain them. And it looked like the medallion was helping him explore. And Lancos certainly got around, to every section the Green would allow him in. It wouldn't let him into the nodal connection, the nerve center of the forest. Guardian trees there prevented Lancos from getting _too_ close, and -- obviously not wanting to cause trouble -- he stayed outside the boundaries, once he found out where they were. He spent another long pause exploring a group of low bushes, which seemed to be squatting on low humps. The probe remembered the spot, and when I asked, the Green confirmed that this was where some of the imitiation creatures were grown. Right now the shapes were indistinguishable, not near ripe yet. Of course, Lancos didn't have the advantage of that information. Personally, the things reminded me of how a chicken sitting on an egg looked, and from the ranger's expression, I had to smile, and wonder if he wasn't thinking along the same lines. And then there were the large, bellows-like trees grouped together, copses of these grew in several areas. So far, the only thing anyone had seen them do was create some strange, organ-like hooting tones. They seemed to have no purpose, but then again, a lot of life didn't make sense. I liked them. A few hours later, Lancos was again at the campsite, breathing harder and looking drained of any excess energy his four day sleep might have filled him with. He took off the medallion, and stepped towards me, pretending he had just put out a torch, and was packing it away. Ought to know better, Lancos. Considering no harm was done, and since it was his game, I decided to play along with it. I would even pretend I knew nothing about his little expedition. "The great ranger returneth from his far journeys," I said in a fake-formal tone. "I hope you enjoyed yourself." Lancos nodded. "Yes, I'm sure it was worth it." There was that knowing grin again. All I could do without revealing what I knew was raise an eyebrow, and wonder. If it was important, he'd tell me. "Glad to hear it. Are you heading for your bedding now?" "That's ok, dude. I'll be fine. Besides, sunrise isn't too far away." I grinned at the word 'dude'. "Hmm, you're right about that. I'm going to go back down to size and get back in my bedroll, in case the Rat wakes up early. See you in the morning." Lancos only gave a small nod, as I shrank, and then climbed back into my bedroll. This was a strange game he was playing with himself. I wondered who would win.