Newsgroups: alt.pub.dragons-inn Path: netcom.com!netcomsv!decwrl!uunet!mnemosyne.cs.du.edu!nyx!arsmith From: arsmith@nyx.cs.du.edu (Alan Smith) Subject: [NTY] Out of the mouths of babes (comes a lot of drool) Message-ID: <1993Aug7.100255.11844@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu> X-Disclaimer: Nyx is a public access Unix system run by the University of Denver for the Denver community. The University has neither control over nor responsibility for the opinions of users. Sender: usenet@mnemosyne.cs.du.edu (netnews admin account) Organization: Nyx, Public Access Unix at U. of Denver Math/CS dept. Date: Sat, 7 Aug 93 10:02:55 GMT Lines: 102 The camel was not enjoying himself. All his life he had been rented out to one person or another, taking jaunts around Alamatar and occasionally to Danushar or Orluccar. Once he went to Parahan, but he didn't remember that very well. All his travels had been in the desert, and now that he was in what the two-legged riders called "the plains" and there was all this bountiful grass just growing to beat the band right and left around him, his *&%$! rider wouldn't let him eat it. For the hundreth time he considered spitting on his rider, but settled for a violent roll instead. 'This *&%$! camel's trying to kill me.' Palandun thought to himself, struggling back to the camel's centerline. 'I shoulda let Shagrat take him.' The two of them rode on, each mentally cursing the other, until they came to a little ravine with a stream at the bottom. Palandun realized he'd never get a passive/agressive mount across the little footbridge they came across by riding, so he dismounted and prepared to lead him across. It was shaping up to be a titanic struggle of wills, when Palandun noticed the other people on the bridge. The bridge itself consisted of a series of planks laid parallel to the swollen stream below, held together and up by a system of ropes strung across the ravine, including some railing-ropes a couple of feet above the planking. People would have to walk single file, and it would be a tight squeeze for the camel. This was why Palandun decided to wait and watch the four...no five figures approach from the opposite side. He was patiently curled up in his cloak when he heard the tiny scream and saw the tension build on one of the railing-ropes. Standing up he was able to see a figure flailing in the air, balanced on the rope with his feet underneat the planks, that pressure was keeping him out of the water. There was a minor commotion as the group reorganized and the leader went back to help the last one, then the rest went on. Palandun was already shuffling down the bridge, trying to keep the vibrations down. Imagine his surprise when the biggest of the advance group bore a distinct resemblance to the Shaheran, in size and age. He slid around the first one, there were some tense moments gettting around the rest, but he scootched by and hustled to where the strong kid was helping the fat kid. The fat kid was doing his best not to sob. Come to think of it, so was everybody except Palandun and the strong kid. "Give me your hand!" The strong kid ordered. He was kneeling on the footbridge, reaching out, back to Palandun. "'Scuse me." Palandun said, stepping over the strong kid and to the other side of the fat kid. "Whozat!" the fat kid said and flailed a little worse. "Whoa, hey, chill out!" Palandun said, kneeling down and patting him on the belly-button, "My name is Palandun Lintesul, I'm just a traveller." "Didja hear that, Han? He's a Paladin." "Pal-an-doon." Palandun pronounced. "It's my first name. My friends call me Pal." If his manner was a little icy, it must be remembered that people had been calling him Paladin since he started school, and not once had he liked it. "Not a paladin?" "No, more of a ranger, actually. Let's see about getting you up again." They tried. And tried. And tried. But rotational mechanics and the fat kids tendency to bend at exactly the wrong times swiftly defeated them. their only success was to get Han to stop flailing. "Well, I'm running out of ideas." Shon, the strong one, said. "That's 'cause we just tried the same one eight times." Palandun replied, they were taking a little break. Palandun looked down. "I have an idea, but you won't like it." Shon didn't, but they tried it anyway. Both of them pitched out on the ropes so that they were in much the same predicament Han was, then grabbed a tight hold of him and each other. "I really don't want to do this." Han said. "Neither do we." Shon and Palandun choroused. They counted three, then pushed, and fell into the stream accompanied by three part "Aaaaaa!" By some miracle they fetched up on the correct side of the stream, and marched back to the other three kids and the camel. Palandun figured he may as well set up camp, and the others joined him. Half their number dried themselves by the fire as they exchanged stories. The five children were from the nearby villiage of Aslat, from whence they had run away due to the heinous and tyrannical things their parents had done. Besides, they were old enough, and there was trouble brewing, the Shaheran would need all the soldiers he could get. "I was a soldier once." Palandun said. "Come to think of it, I still am, just there ain't no war on, y'know?" He fingered his sword absently. "What was the most honorable thing you did?" Palandun thought for a moment. "Dat Andria." Palandun replied. He met their puzzled looks with an explination. "Dat Andria was a city on the West continent." "Was?" "It was destroyed, in a matter of five minutes, by a single spell." "How do you know?" "I was there for the final casting, but I failed to stop it. This is after the battle, during the cleanup." He went on do describe exactly what he saw there, which I will not relate to you...yet. Next morning Palandun asked for help getting his camel across. For some reason, the five children had decided to give up soldiering and agreed to go to the villiage with him. Palandun statined himself at the reins while shon grabbed a stout stick and clobbered the camel on the rear. And almost got de-spleened for his trouble. This was obviously not going to work. "If you can't use the stick, use the carrot." Han said. "What!?" Palandun asked, something jogging in his memory. "When we have a donkey that won't go, we either beat it with a stick or use a carrot to entice it forward." "That may work. Find me a carrot." The camel went across positively eagerly.