From alt.pub.dragons-inn Wed Nov 24 15:16:31 1993 Newsgroups: alt.pub.dragons-inn Path: netcom.com!netcomsv!decwrl!elroy.jpl.nasa.gov!usc!math.ohio-state.edu!cyber2.cyberstore.ca!nntp.cs.ubc.ca!alberta!amisk.cs.ualberta.ca!aaron From: aaron@amisk.cs.ualberta.ca (Aaron V. Humphrey) Subject: [MI] Three Plus Five Plus Infinity Equals Four Message-ID: Originator: aaron@gsb007.cs.ualberta.ca Sender: news@cs.UAlberta.CA (News Administrator) Nntp-Posting-Host: gsb007.cs.ualberta.ca Reply-To: aaron@amisk.cs.ualberta.ca Organization: University of Alberta Date: Tue, 23 Nov 1993 00:00:52 GMT Lines: 308 ADMIN: This posting is a collaboration between Aaron Humphrey and Steve Hutchison. 'Raelf and his timebrothers are property of Stephen Hutchison. Alfvaen and Azpiazu/Leaathal are property of Aaron Humphrey. Copyright 1993. This Leaathal person must have been a real talker, Alfvaen thought as they walked down Dragon's Lane towards the Lighthouse. Azpiazu had been talking pretty much nonstop since they'd left Moriarty's. "...so, after hiding their clothes, I took out their undergarments and burned them as an offering to Ereven Ilesere." "Don't you mean that Leaathal did?" Alfvaen asked. Azpiazu stopped and looked askance at him, then nodded. "Sorry. The Sparrowhawk Effect is setting in." "Sparrowhawk Effect?" "If you assume the form of a being or person for too long, then you start to become like them. It's not a universal, but it depends on the method you use to assume the shape. Since so much of my nature is based on my lack of a constant form, it's moving particularly swiftly in my case. Which is, no doubt, what the Demon Queen is counting on. It's really a very nefarious scheme, no doubt about it. I certainly hope this 'Raelf guy lives up to his reputation. Because I'm just barely keeping myself from leading you into some shady nook, ripping all your clothes off, and ravishing you." Alfvaen blinked. Ordinarily he'd be extremely flattered, but he was too aware that this was his patron god, and somehow that dampened his ardor. Memories of Narwin also interfered--being nearly killed by a lover, and then having to kill her yourself, didn't have the most pleasant associations. And the memory of what Niamh had done to Shant was even more unmanning. After that, they were mostly silent. Azpiazu was no doubt restraining Leaathal's garrulous tendencies. "Just a second," Alfvaen said, going to pick up a copy of the Examiner. Azpiazu followed close enough that he didn't slip back into a coma. Alfvaen whistled as he read the lead story. "A big rock plowed into the Low City last night. Mage Guild connection suspected." Azpiazu perked up as he/she read over Alfvaen's shoulder. "Well, I'm not totally being cut off, then. That one's a beauty. Aimed at a bunch of Bismanian colonists, but deflected by their anticurse spells towards the Mage Guild, and thence towards the Low City, precisely where the Bismanians were going to live anyway. I couldn't have done it better if I'd tried." "Huh." Alfvaen suddenly realized that gods had goals on an entirely different level from humans. To Azpiazu, this was a work of art. They set off again, Alfvaen reading the second story. "'Raf...'Raelf...coincidence?" Azpiazu shook his head. "No such thing. Trust me. If you've ever sat in on one of Death & Destiny's games..." "That must be it over there," Alfvaen said, indicating a tall structure which bore no little resemblance to the Spire of Hyutir, Generica's main functional lighthouse. "Let's see if this 'Raelf guy is open for business." "Yikes!" The young boy who answered the door took one look at Leaathal, and closed the door in their faces. A second later, a youngish looking blond man in a black poncho opened the door. "Alfvaen, good to see you. You missed the party last night." Alfvaen was momentarily confused. Then he realized that "last night" for him was Luthor's party at ShadeHaven, probably months ago by this time. "I've been...indisposed. Listen, I'm here on business. Got a few things I have to talk to you about." "Certainly. What name would you like me to use?" 'Raelf said to Leaathal, in Old High Elvish, being much more formal than Alfvaen remembered. Leaathal broke off giving him a lingering stare. "Hmm? Oh, sorry. Please call me Azpiazu." "As you like. Come on into the garden," he ushered them through the large, dark, empty room that opened into the walled enclosure around the lighthouse. "Watch out for the wandering singularity, Azpiazu, it lurks around that corner." "I see why you don't keep anything in here," the elven woman said, scowling at the indicated corner. "What do you feed it?" "Oh, leaves, the occasional door-to-door salesman." A comfortable table and nicely padded chairs waited in a pleasantly sunny place in the cobblestoned part of the courtyard. A covered tea cozy was set on a side table. "Can I offer you some tea?" "Certainly. Do you have crullers or just crumpets?" "Hm. I think we have sandwiches today. The Little Rat prefers tea with sandwiches." Alfvaen sat down, feeling a bit confused. "Do you mean the same Little Rat I know, a young girl from Low City?" 'Raelf looked closely at him. "Yep. You must be `Prince Elf Man' then." "I suppose I must." Alfvaen wasn't sure whether to laugh. "What does she call you?" "Mister Ralf, or Mister Miro, or Mister Lex, or Mister Raf, or dumbnog, depending on which of me she's talking to." "Huh?" Alfvaen narrowed his eyes, wondering what he was talking about. "I've been kind of beside myself, Aelf. The hazards of fighting in the wrong kind of war. Anyway, Little Rat has been living with us here for a little over a month." "I see." "Hey, you two," Azpiazu interrupted. "Can we get on with the important parts here? Time is fleeting." "Madness takes its toll. Sure thing. What are the important parts?" "Well," Alfvaen said, "my friend here has a small problem." "This would be easier if Lex were here," 'Raelf muttered to himself. He looked off into the distance for a moment, grinned, and blinked, returning his attention to Alfvaen. "Uh, he's busy. 'Raf might be able to help though. He'll be showing up in a few minutes." "Fine. Alfvaen, you tell him. I'm going to eat this delicious sandwich." The elven woman poured herself more tea and began to eat as if she had been starved for days. "First, you need to know that I'm not what I seem." "I know that, dude. You're only imaginary. I'd love to show you to Spark -- he's my grandson -- but he's off with Miro somewhere in Low City right now." "If you know that I'm...excuse me? Imaginary?" "Yes. You have substance, but only because that amulet says to, and the amulet is ... hmm. Can I look?" "I can't take it off." "That's fine, I don't need you to." 'Raelf pulled a handful of marbles out of nowhere, and held them one at a time in front of his eye like a lens as he looked at the amulet. "Hmm. Chaos, chaos, and more chaos. This would be yours, right?" He nodded to Azpiazu, who smiled and poured more tea. "Not as sloppy as the usual divine work. More precision required by the combination of random patterns." Azpiazu looked up from her sandwich. "Thank you." Alfvaen squirmed in his seat a bit. "So, it looks like your pattern is incomplete, dude. What's wrong, Azpiazu, you lose contact with your primal self or something?" "Something like that. A certain demon goddess, who shall remain unnamed, though some associate her with spiders, has been a bit nettled with me since I made off with one of the souls that was rightfully hers. It's also linked to that amulet. Tiny enough provocation, but I've been a bee in her bonnet ever since. Somehow, she's managed to put a blockage on this plane, which, due to its strategic location, hampers me all over the place. My imaginary companion here was thrown into a dormant state as a result of lowered power levels, and the other souls connected to the amulet are at an even lower level. If this persists long enough, I imagine those connections will be cut altogether, and the Demon Queen will get back her lost lamb after all. Though I doubt this will get her off my back." 'Raelf nodded. "So you want my help in clearing your plumbing?" "Essentially, yes." "What do you know about the nature of the blockage?" "Very little. I know that it's in Generica somewhere; it's hidden, and probably shielded so that I can't approach it myself without a backlash. In my current state, that could prove disastrous...which reminds me, do you mine if I relax this form for a bit?" "Just a sec, let me make a few adjustments in the environment. Hmm. <Okay. Go ahead." Alfvaen felt slightly stronger suddenly, more real. Leaathal's form disappeared in a shimmer of chaos. After a few seconds, it settled on the form of a large orange pickle. "Thanks so much. I admire your aplomb, by the way. Do you deal with gods and imaginary beings all the time?" "I've seen more than my share of gods recently. And I've seen Alfvaen before, once or twice. We get all kinds here, to be honest. Even my family visits sometimes." Alfvaen was beginning to feel a little left out of the conversation. Why did he always have to get himself involved in things above his power level? Why couldn't he get a messy divorce case or something, or go beat up some orcs? No, he had to hobnob with gods, ultra-powerful magicians, dragon lords... Taking advantage of a lull in the conversation, he said, "By the way...you may know that I work with Moriarty Investigations. Well, Moriarty gave me a message for you." He reached into his pouch and drew forth a sealed scroll. "Something to do with the case he's working on." "Way cool! Thanks... Hmm." 'Raelf scanned the scroll twice. "Wow, good to have that confirmed. He's got some evidence pointing to the guy that did it, which corroborates Lex's discovery last night. What do you know about this case, dude?" "Just the bare details. Clone, meeting, some kind of scandal." "Well, it was the sorceror Iglyarch who was working for a pseudolich with pretenses of godhood, who created the clone, and we have a pretty good idea that the pseudolich didn't have a direct hand in it, but," 'Raelf paused to slurp his tea, "No solid link at all to who actually did the contract. But with the origin point we were able to prove that it wasn't Urcohea. Hmm. This information was complete before last night. How about you tell Moriarty to submit a bill for it, I'll make sure it was registered online at the guild before I revealed the truth. I don't like it when people don't get paid for contracted work." 'Raelf pulled a flat case out of a pocket that was too small to hold it, and began methodically setting it up into a magician's helper. "Uh, thank you, I guess. What's this?" Alfvaen gestured at the device. "Just a sec. There. Off with ya." A globe of light over the case showed the image of a rack of pigeonholes, one of them labelled "Rivy"; a piece of paper appeared in that box. "Lovely," Azpiazu beamed in an orange-pickle sort of way, before blurring and assuming the shape of a box of paper tissues. "Temporal twist. Now can we get back to my problem?" "Sure thing. Here's 'Raf now." Alfvaen stared in surprise. The creature coming toward him was recognizable as 'Raelf, but much more animalistic, looking like a cross between a satyr and a desert lion. "What the h... " "Hi, Aelf. What's up, Bro? Who's the god?" "Azpiazu, meet my timebrother 'Raf." "Glad to meet you, help me now please," Azpiazu replied. "Charmin," 'Raf grinned. 'Raelf glared at him. "That's my line." "Uh, yeah. So what IS your... ow. Don't do that," 'Raf said, sitting down and holding his head. His tail lashed around in irate-feline fashion. "Sorry," the box of tissues said unrepentantly. "You really want me to find this blockage?" "If you can. I'd really like that." Azpiazu flickered into the shape of a small green crab, and crawled into the teacup which Leaathal had been drinking from. "Heart's Desire. Shit. Fine." 'Raf scowled in disgust. Azpiazu clicked its face-parts sympathetically. "I'll return the favor some day, I promise." "No, please, anything but that," 'Raf and 'Raelf said simultaneously. "What's this all about?" Alfvaen asked. "Heart's Desire?" "Yeah. 'Raf has this curse. He has to grant anyone who asks their inmost desire." 'Raelf frowned. "And I think this one's gonna hurt." Alfvaen felt momentarily dizzy. "What's going on," he asked, then saw that the garden had changed, now in shadow. He felt something in the back of his mind -- a multiple presence which had been missing since he woke up. 'Raelf and 'Raf were standing in front of him, along with a gold-skinned red-haired elf he didn't know, and the kid who had opened the door for him earlier. Azpiazu was nowhere to be seen. "We had to do some work on the amulet," 'Raelf said. "You should be able to switch again, but don't switch to Azpiazu until you get off of Nexus or until it's regained its full powers." "WHAT?" Alfvaen half-shouted. "SWITCH TO ..." -- What's wrong, Elfman, you don't want me in here? -- "Chill, laddie," the red-haired elf said to him, and he felt an involuntary calm settling over him. "We know the wee thing's location, it's just that ye canna take the wee goddie in with y' _in_ _the_ _flesh_ y'know." "Miro, that accent really sucks," 'Raf growled. "Sorry. So lad, here's the map ye'll be wantin' -- and the address of a friend of mine name of Rook." -- --Alfvaen(Editor of Communique) Current Album--Drivin' N' Cryin':Whisper Tames The Lion Current Read--Stephen R. Donaldson:The Power That Preserves "I don't know about your brain, but mine is really...bossy." --Laurie Anderson