From alt.pub.dragons-inn Thu Mar 3 08:30:21 1994 Xref: netcom.com alt.pub.dragons-inn:7080 Newsgroups: alt.pub.dragons-inn Path: netcom.com!netcomsv!decwrl!decwrl!hookup!europa.eng.gtefsd.com!ulowell!xn.ll.mit.edu!hsdndev!cfanews!cfatrw.harvard.edu!rudnick From: rudnick@cfatrw.harvard.edu (Bret Rudnick) Subject: [VampQ] Just Do It Message-ID: Sender: news@cfanews.harvard.edu Organization: Smithsonian Astrophysical Observatory, Cambridge, MA, USA X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.2 PL0] Date: Wed, 2 Mar 1994 23:29:08 GMT Lines: 142 ============================================================ [VAMPQ] Just Do It Admin [The cast of characters for the [VampQ] thread: Character Created/Managed by --------------------------------------------------------- Ja'nis arsmith@lamar.ColoState.EDU (Alan Smith) Bluestar Dreamer (in absentia) Gemini (Feline familiar of Bluestar Dreamer) Moria Runecaster Master Hawk Rathan Barbar Morning Reaper Ah (Blood spider created by Rathan) Turion "Mr. Sinister..." a salamander (Turion's Travelling Companion) Billy the Torch JGE103@PSUVM.PSU.EDU Matte Kudasai Matt Hebert Tav Safthandor sxk29@po.CWRU.Edu (Susan Kretschmer) Tomonobu Fujiwara rudnick@cfatrw.harvard.edu (Bret R. Rudnick) Synopsis: After retrieving specimens of the Vampire Orchid, the object of their quest, the group are forced to journey through Hell to get back to Generica. They are forced to compete in the Hellympics for a chance to return home.] Admin [As always, comments/questions welcome.] ============================================================ > As the two began to really whack at each other the > picture faded and was replaced by an advertisement from an > official sponsor. The whole group (except, of course, Turion) boggled at the grossly obese demon which came up to them. The demon was dressed in an odd casual-looking shirt with a collar that had the picture of a person riding a horse and carrying a really funnyshaped lance the wrong way. He also had some pants and leather shoes that looked like they wouldn't survive ten minutes on a trail. "Origin?" He said in a voice that could only be more nasal if he had another nose. "Huh?" Ja'nis said. "We are from Generica, and trying to return there," Tomonobu replied, "Could you give us directions?" "Sure, practice, practice, practice." The demon replied. Turion giggled and mentioned something about a mythical place called 'Carnegie Hall,' but most of the group were listening to the demon intently. "This is the Hell Games. The team that wins gets let out." "What about the losers?" Moria asked. "They have to stay for four years. Your locker room is right over there. You'll find a schedule of events inside. Have your team captain decide who goes where when you get there. Oh, and you're a person short." "You're a person fat!" the diminutive Matte said, who tended to take offense at those kinds of things. "I meant you need another person to compete on your team. Right over there," he motioned. The group retired to their locker room and started to ponder the obvious question: Where the hell were they going to find a live Generican? It was the Niky commercial that prompted Tav to Just Do what he Just Did. Specifically, he Just got up and Just went down to the Generican locker room, ignoring the protests of his supervisors. Once there, he Just walked in and Just said "Um, they said on the Hell-o-vision that you Genericans were short a team member, and, uh...I'm from Generica, sort of," Tav improvised. "And I really want to get there. I mean, get back there. So maybe I can help you, and you can help me." "Huh?" Ja'nis said, wondering when she would get some intelligent dialogue. "Perhaps we can," Tomonobu said. "What are you good at?" "Well, mostly I destroy things. Sometimes even on purpose." Tav looked somewhat morose. "I'm a mage," he added, reluctantly. "My name is Tav. Tav...uh...just Tav." Tomonobu frowned slightly at this. [Wonderful, _another_ user of magic,] he thought to himself. But he politely introduced the visible members of the party. "Hey!" the voice of Billy said, startling Tav. "Oh, and not to forget Billy, our companion who's usually invisible," Tomonobu added. "Hello," Tav said, doing his best to appear nonchalant, but failing. Rathan returned with the redhead. "Hi everyone, this my mom, Rachelle. Mom, this everyone... plus one. Howdy, I'm Rathan, and who are you?" Tav looked as if Rathan made him a little nervous, but he stood his ground and politely introduced himself. "Greetings, Bluestar, Gemini, Turion, Salamander, Moria, Tomonobu, Ja'nis, Tav, Matte, and Billy," Rachelle said to everyone, looking each in the eye. "I will be refereeing the games, preventing excessive cheating. As you are not familiar with the rules and would not know enough to ask for them, I am providing each of you with a ring. These rings should prevent your opponents from interfering with your performance. Well, I must be off. Good luck (you'll need it.) "What kind of crazy events are these?" Billy asked, reading aloud from the list. "Some, like the 100 meter Dash, Martial Combat, and Giant Slalom make sense. What kind of events are Fish Scaling and Rolling Stone? Marathon, Dead Lift, Discus, Efreet shooting, Hockey, Bobcatsled, Headball... I don't get it. I mean, a Luge? Who or what is a Luge? And who would ever fire-surf?" "Well, actually it is a lot of fun, and the currents are more thermally sensitive so the waves are more easily manipulated," Rathan replied. There was a knock at the locker room door and the demon seen earlier stuck his head in. "Time to assemble," he said. "The Games are about to start." -- |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | "If androids could barf I'd be on my 5th bag by now" -- Kryten (Red Dwarf) | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------|