From alt.pub.dragons-inn Sun Apr 17 18:14:58 1994 Xref: netcom.com alt.pub.dragons-inn:7207 Newsgroups: alt.pub.dragons-inn Path: netcom.com!csus.edu!csulb.edu!nic-nac.CSU.net!usc!howland.reston.ans.net!math.ohio-state.edu!magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu!csn!yuma!lamar!arsmith From: arsmith@lamar.ColoState.EDU (Alan Smith) Subject: [VampQ] A triple Axing. Message-ID: <1994Apr15.234632.22368@yuma> Date: 15 Apr 94 23:46:32 GMT Nntp-Posting-Host: lamar.acns.colostate.edu Organization: Colorado State University, Fort Collins, CO 80523 Lines: 113 ============================================================ [VAMPQ] A triple axing. Admin [The cast of characters for the [VampQ] thread: Character Created/Managed by --------------------------------------------------------- Ja'nis arsmith@lamar.ColoState.EDU (Alan Smith) Bluestar Dreamer (in absentia) Gemini (Feline familiar of Bluestar Dreamer) Moria Runecaster Master Hawk Rathan Barbar Morning Reaper Ah (Blood spider created by Rathan) Turion "Mr. Sinister..." a salamander (Turion's Travelling Companion) Billy the Torch JGE103@PSUVM.PSU.EDU Matte Kudasai Matt Hebert Tav Safthandor sxk29@po.CWRU.Edu (Susan Kretschmer) Tomonobu Fujiwara rudnick@cfatrw.harvard.edu (Bret R. Rudnick) Synopsis: After retrieving specimens of the Vampire Orchid, the object of their quest, the group are forced to journey through Hell to get back to Generica. They are forced to compete in the Hellympics for a chance to return home.] Admin [As always, comments/questions welcome.] Author's Note: I wrote this a *looong* time ago. See if you can guess when. ============================================================ > Ja'nis found herself in another locker room, with a bunch >of other women strapping strange devices to their feet. A demon >told her that she would be on last, and promptly dissapeared. >"What the hell event is this?" She asked the other women. > Figure skating." One of them replied. "Watch out for the >bodyguards." Ja'nis pondered exactly what that meant as one of the thin, wispy women came over and started to talk to her. Ja'nis greeted her a little distractedly, since she was trying to figure out how the wierd shoes with the metal parts on the bottom worked. Finally she heard something that sounded important and turned to face her companion. "I'm sorry, what did you say?" Ja'nis asked. "I asked if you had a boyfriend." The other replied. So, maybe it wasn't important. "Ah. No, 'fraid not. Tell me how-" "So you didn't bring a man? I'm sorry for you." "All the men on my team are off in the other events, why?" "Every girl brings a man to see to it that she wins the event." "That reminds me, how *do* you win this event?" "Through that door is some ice, and you use the skates," She indicated the footwear, "to skate around on it and do jumps and spins, preferably at the same time." "Sounds hard." "First you gotta make it out on the ice." "How'd they get ice in hell, anyway?" Ja'nis never got her answer, because the speaker boomed out a name. Her companion suddenly got a very scared look and went through the door to the ice. About thirty seconds later the locker room, and indeed the arena, were rocked by horrible screams. Ja'nis tried to go into the room, but a demon guard stopped her and said that Ja'nis would get her chance. About a minute after that the screaming stopped, and her friend emerged from the room covered in welts and new-forming bruises. Ja'nis did what medical aid she could, and really wished moria was there. The rest of the competition followed more or less the same formula, with a constestant going into the room, getting clobbered, and retreating, assuming they were still conscious or alive. A few managed to get out onto the ice and promptly pass out. About three ran screaming for the other door when they heard their name called. Finally the speaker boomed out "For the Generican team, Ja'nis." "Good luck." The guard said, giving her a pat as he let her pass. Ja'nis gulped, steeled herself, and strode into the foyer to the ice. And burst out laughing. Arrayed in front of her were two dozen men, none of whom had heard the words "cardiovascular conditioning" in centuries. All of them were armed soley with these wierd telescoping club things. "You won't be laughing for long, bitch." One of them told her, telescoping out his club. "Ah, but I will." Ja'nis replied, reaching behind her and retireving her two-handed sword. The Ahmeyan Judge was always bored during the combat phase of this event. He should have laid down the law when he had a chance. He was left with soley being able to rest his head in his hands until the screaming stopped. "It's different." The sparlactic judge said. "The screaming." "How do you figure." Ahmey replied. "Seems to be more of it, and it's deeper." Right then the door from the foyer burst open, and fifteen men dashed out onto the ice, yelling their heads off. A tall, muscular woman stood at the door and growled at the fleeing men. The crowd cheered. The judges fell off their chairs. When they sat again, the woman was wiping her sword on the corpse of the last man in the ice rink. Ja'nis looked thoughtful for a bit, then got a look of memory. She leapt up into the air. She spun around. She landed. She fell on her ass. The crowd cheered and stamped to finally see some actual figure skating and cheered some more as the Generican anthem was played at the medal ceremony. Ja'nis got a composite score of 0.7.