From alt.pub.dragons-inn Wed Sep 21 12:25:07 1994
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From: arsmith@lamar.ColoState.EDU (Alan Smith)
Newsgroups: alt.pub.dragons-inn
Subject: [Colony] Where do they find them? Was: FREE MONEY!
Date: 18 Sep 1994 22:40:19 -0600
Organization: Colorado State University, Fort Collins, CO 80523
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At the end of a long day persuing their chosen trade, be it High Sorcery,
High Trade, or High Turning Little Blocks of Wood Into Wheeled Contraptions
to Sell to Kids, Bismanians tend to wander to the vicinity of their Town
Square, to partake of alcohol in the pubs, food in the resteraunts,
and c'fie in the c'fiehouses.  It is also at this time of day that most
Bismanian politics gets done, where the citizens disappear up the stairs
that none but themselves may climb and go exercise their privilidges as
citizens and their responsibilities as stewards of the government.

So it was in It-At, the Bismanian colony in Generica, and Genericans
soon learned of this pattern of behavior.  Those who engaged in High
Sneaking Into People's Houses and Taking Their Things were the first
to find this out, and the first to find out that the Bismanians,
particularly the Watch, had thought of the ramifications of leaving their
homes and businesses unoccupied before they had.  Those who occupied 
themselves in some of the more socially accpetable ways mentioned above
(and many others besides) were the second to figure this out, and soon
learned that one of the best ways to get on a Bismanian's good side is
to buy him some c'fie.

The third group to find out about this cultural tradition were those people
who, while not particularly productive members of society, had...interesting
ideas about how the universe worked, and how it should work.  Instead
of having the Watch or the Militia chuck these advanced social/physical/
biological theorists out on their collective butts, the citizenry of
It-At voted to give them a platform right in the middle of the square
where they could reach as many people as their voices could get to.
By colonial law, a person could get on that platform and say whatever
he pleased and no one could harass him, provided he limited his actions
to speaking and displaying signs.

Astaldo and Gwaehenneth Veduiliun, a married pair of toymakers, were wandering
through the square after drinking some particularly good c'fie when a
slightly dissheveled man mounted the platform displaying the following 
sign:

>                          *********************
>                          *                   *
>                          *   FREE MONEY!!!   *
>                          *                   *
>                          *********************

The man then began to speak, talking about the availability of "free
money" two various and sundry peoples, with the exception of:

>   Oh, I forgot to mention one thing: all this free money is not available
>to you if you are an ordinary straight White American, a descendant of the
>men and women of Europe who discovered, pioneered, and built America and
>made her the greatest nation ever known.

Now, Astaldo and Gwaehenneth were somewhat puzzled by this part of the
speech, as the average Bismanian is of an olive-skinned complexion and
neither of them had ever heard of either an "America" or a "Europe" in
their lives.  They pointed out as much to the demonstrator, and
were accosted by Baranamon Oiovarda, head of the Watch.  Bar reminded
them that the questions were technically harassmant.

  "Bar," Astaldo said, "I don't get it.  He's obviously totally
gone, why can't you just kick them out and be done with it?"
  "Well," Bar replied, "It was actually Pal Lintesul's idea, he
says we need to attract the kooks and wierdos here."
  "So we know where they are..." Gwae concluded.
  "No, though now you mention it that does happen.  His thought was
that the Bismanian citizen is in constant danger of becoming one of them,
there, but for a little restraint and a firmish grasp of reality go
thee, if you catch my meaning."
  "We're not citizens."  Astaldo replied.
  "Well, the law only says you can't harass him." Bar said, "It
says nothing about you having to listen."

Nodding to Bar, the two toymakers strolled off and debated the meaning
of "America" and "Europe", deciding that it must be some lands he
cooked up in his imagination...